Nemnosti session 26

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Session

Session date: July 6, 2025

Negili Reckoning date: IE 768, Munudend

Prologue

[NemnostiGM] Greetings, acolytes! Hands out of blankets. I see you there. The fire will keep your hands warm for now. I know, I understand, truly I do. You don't want to hear it but yes, even I was once a young acolyte in love. More than once, truly. I know I have talked about love before - love for one's partner, love for Nemnu, love for your fellow acolytes. I will try not to nauseate any of you too much. Because love is more than the person you are in love with. The amazing thing about love is that it transforms you, makes you capable of doing things you otherwise could never, in its service. Both for good, and for ill. It is trite to say and I am doing no more than quoting great writers, to say that love is a kind of madness. The stories and legends, they have power because they say something that we fundamentally recognize. So for now, as we move into Munudend and more chilly nights, well, once we are done here, I will not tell you to keep your hands to yourselves. Who knows what they might find?

Kuspir has dinner with Ajemika and Regivus, where they discuss the controversy over Hojon, and what happens next

[NemnostiGM] Kuspir, since your return from Vulusilt, your mind has been much on the Ancestor Lurokai and what you would do if you found yourself in the same situation as your long-dead brother. You don't have an easy answer.
[NemnostiGM] It's not your job (exactly) to deal with, at least until Izu sorts things out with Nemnu, but of course you are keeping a close eye on the corner of the Inner Caves where he's been placed for now.
[NemnostiGM] If that wasn't enough, there's been ample distraction back at the ulajeta, or specifically, at the iftibal.
[NemnostiGM] Again, you're not sure what you would do if it were you, but you can't say you disagree with Ifa.
[NemnostiGM] But the commotion it has caused among the usually-peaceful Nemni lineage is considerable.
[NemnostiGM] So yesterday, your friend Regivus basically invited himself and his wife Ajemika over for dinner at your house, because, as he puts it "we need to get out of that madhouse".
[NemnostiGM] You can only imagine the various stresses Ajemika is under.
[NemnostiGM] So, the two of them, plus little Henda, come over to your house. Rugu is here too, so he can play with his cousin, but Irdomila is spending most of her time these days in her early studies with her new Source master, Alai.
* Kuspir will of course welcome them over
[Regivus] Medimur! Been too long.
[Regivus] Here, I brought something.
[Regivus] Ice wine, from Basai.
* Regivus hands you a bottle.
[Kuspir] Ah, thank you - good to see you as well.
[Regivus] Don't say I never give you the good stuff.
[Kuspir] Most generous
* Ajemika smiles.
[Ajemika] Hello, Meddy. Good to see you.
[Kuspir] How are things going?
[Ajemika] You know.
[Ajemika] Difficult.
* Kuspir nods
* Ajemika scoots Henda off to play with Rugu until dinnertime.
[Kuspir] It's a difficult time.
[Ajemika] If you want to know more, I'll tell you more. This one is sick of hearing it.
* Ajemika gently elbows Regivus.
[Regivus] I just think that talking about it doesn't solve anything.
[Kuspir] If it's weighing on your mind, why not get it out of the way now, and then we can enjoy the rest of the evening without thinking about such things.
[Regivus] All right, let's at least open a bottle though.
[Regivus] If we're going to solve all the problems of the Nemni lineage we might as well be drunk while we do it.
[Kuspir] Of course
[Regivus] I'll take care of that. Glasses still where they always were?
[Kuspir] Yes
[Regivus] Of course they are, you're you. Good ol' Medimur, ever-constant. Until shelves fail, or whatever it is.
[Ajemika] Micho!
* Ajemika scolds her husband mildly.
[Kuspir] Why change what isn't broken
* Kuspir says with a faint smile
[Ajemika] Now you sound like my father.
* Ajemika sits down and waits for Regivus to bring her a glass.
[Ajemika] So ... how much do you know?
[Ajemika] I'm assuming the Little Nemni have been talking about this for a while and I'm assuming you at least overheard a few things.
[Kuspir] Well, I've heard what everyone has heard. That Ifa spoke up in public to say your father ought to step down.
[Ajemika] And how much of the underlying cause?
[Kuspir] I've heard about his illness.
* Ajemika nods.
[Ajemika] Well that, at least, is true. Bardagai. But that's not what is affecting him most seriously. It's the medicine.
[Ajemika] It affects the memory and the temperament.
* Kuspir nods
[Ajemika] We may be coming to the point where something would have needed to be done anyways.
[Regivus] May be coming? He struck Ifa, and he's hit you more than once.
* Regivus calls out, as he pours the wine.
[Kuspir] He has?
[Ajemika] Not hit like that. Just that he doesn't know his strength, and he lashes out.
* Kuspir frowns
[Ajemika] I mean, Ifa, he hit her in anger.
[Ajemika] He was provoked, not that that excuses it.
[Ajemika] A public humiliation ... I don't know. If Ifa had asked me, I would have told her not to.
[Ajemika] But now that she has ... well ... I don't know.
[Kuspir] You don't know what?
[Ajemika] I wrote to Geme yesterday. Asked her for advice, just like I used to back when we were kids.
[Ajemika] I just don't know what I'm supposed to be doing with all this.
[Ajemika] Ifa says she supports me for hengi. I ... don't know. I'm not my great-aunt, despite the name.
[Ajemika] Do the Nemni really need another Osper Ajemika?
[Kuspir] If he wasn't your father - if you didn't have that conflict bound up in your feelings about all of this - would you want to do the job?
[Kuspir] Putting aside your sense of duty or feelings of guilt, if it was just that, I don't know, he died tomorrow and the place needed someone to fill it, would you accept?
[Ajemika] I already *am* doing the job, or half of it.
[Ajemika] I'm not unaware of my father's limitations, which grow every day.
[Ajemika] But now that it's all out in the open, I spend my days increasingly trying to cover for that which there may be no cover.
[Kuspir] The ulajeta is in a time of uncertainty and risk, and having a leader who is unsteady... it's not good for everyone.
[Ajemika] He's been spreading rumours that this is a Little Nemni plot. That this is Zaren's doing.
[Ajemika] They've been friends for their entire lives.
[Ajemika] He is calling it a betrayal, a coup.
[Kuspir] He isn't thinking clearly.
[Ajemika] There's weird history there, though.
[Kuspir] Oh?
[Kuspir] Weird in what way?
[Ajemika] Zaren's ... great-grandfather, I think, I think he was named Dadim. Left Nemnosti when Dimekh, Hojon's great-grandfather, became hengi.
[Ajemika] That's what all this "Little Nemni" business is about.
[Ajemika] They're the older branch, but they left, and only came back when Zaren's father had some kind of religious experience.
[Regivus] It's all old family history.
[Ajemika] I'm not saying any of it makes sense. I just think maybe Ifa underestimated how Dad would interpret it all.
[Kuspir] Maybe, but it seems it still needed to be said.
[Ajemika] It's not just a personal attack. He's calling it an attack on his legitimacy.
[Ajemika] Just ... you're sure that Ifa doesn't want the job, right?
[Kuspir] I don't think she does.
[Ajemika] All right. I mean, I do trust her. I don't know her as well as I know Geme, of course, but I've known Ifa since she was a baby too.
[Ajemika] I just know, Hand things, they get complicated, with politics.
[Kuspir] She would have to leave her role as a Hand and I don't think she wants to do that.
* Ajemika nods.
[Ajemika] It's just hard on Dad especially, with Ingo leaving, and now this.
[Kuspir] I can imagine. It's a difficult time, with much uncertainty.
[Ajemika] The three of them, Zaren too, all the same age, all grew up together.
* Kuspir nods
[Regivus] I keep telling her, if Zaren really had a problem with Hojon, they would have just punched it out. Like how you and Pomirabe used to beat on me.
[Ajemika] Boys.
[Kuspir] Well, that's likely so. But it is about more than the personal feelings of each one involved, though. The safety and stability of Nemnosti is at risk too.
[Ajemika] See, you understand. This is all personal for him, but it's more than that.
[Ajemika] With Afra and the new baby, Momuzai, all that, he's seeing it all crumble. But I just need to keep things together so that the ifti doesn't fall into chaos exactly when She needs us most.
[Regivus] What I keep telling her is that one way or another, this is coming to an end, and if it's not her at the helm, it'll be someone less qualified.
[Regivus] Detevus, probably.
[Kuspir] A leader who steps aside when they know they are no longer able to lead is doing a great deed. I think Hojon's reputation will suffer more the longer he stays in place after it's clear he is not well. If, Ancestors forbid, there was another major attack or problem while he's still there and not capable of dealing with it, doesn't that harm his reputation more than any personal insult could?
* Ajemika pauses, composing herself.
[Ajemika] You're right. I know you're right. But knowing what the end point has to be doesn't help me in the moment.
[Ajemika] The question before me is what do I do, now.
[Kuspir] I know this must sound blunt, but - at some point, the needs of the community have to come before the needs of one man to try and preserve his pride.
* Ajemika nods.
[Ajemika] Is Ifa planning anything else? It's hard for me to talk to her.
[Ajemika] If we're seen together, people will talk.
[Kuspir] I don't know of anything, but I can talk to her.
[Kuspir] Ajemika, I will say this, and then this will be my last words on the matter, and we can have dinner and try to enjoy ourselves.
[Kuspir] If you do this, your father may not forgive you - he may even be angry at you for the rest of his life. If you don't do this, then it could mean people die, or in the very worst case, harm comes to the Lady or this entire ulajeta.
* Ajemika stares at you.
[Ajemika] I forget sometimes, how much you stoneguards love this place.
[Ajemika] More even than we Nemni, sometimes.
[Kuspir] I would never say I love this place more than you.
[Ajemika] You're right, Kuspir. You're right about all of it.
[Kuspir] I trust that you love it enough to do what is best.
* Ajemika sighs.
[Ajemika] Henda loves her granddad so much. And he loves her. This will be hard on her too.
[Regivus] She'll be fine. And so will you. And I'll adjust to being the husband of a beloved hengi.
* Ajemika cries, the first time you've seen her cry since Zurusha died.
[Kuspir] ... I'll get the food
* Kuspir says, leaving her for a moment to compose herself and let Regivus comfort her.
* Ajemika puts herself back together quickly enough.
[Ajemika] All right.
[Ajemika] I don't know what happens next, but I do know what has to happen to resolve this.
* Kuspir brings out the meal and will try to move the conversation on to less difficult matters

Marga and Rechegoko talk to Rupun Lurusiri, who tells them about his background in the Sortusai lineage, and what happened to Lurusiru Ula during the Great Purge

[NemnostiGM] Marga, since returning from Vulusilt with the body of the Ancestor Lurokai, you've tried not to think too much about all that stuff.
[NemnostiGM] Politics and history and whether the Emperor is wicked, these things do occur to you, of course, but thankfully there's usually someone else to think harder about them.
[NemnostiGM] Thankfully you do have a place to go when things are weird, and it's up at Rechegoko's camp.
[NemnostiGM] Whatever it is that you've got going on here seems to work well for both of you; you're never far away, but also he doesn't have to be at Nemnosti where he's uncomfortable.
[NemnostiGM] So this morning, after your usual rounds, you wind up in the uplands near to the old ruins of Lurusiru, and figure you'll pop in for a noontime ... Rechegoko.
* Marga makes her way up to his camp
[Marga] Hellooooooooo, anybody home? I brought snacks :)
[NemnostiGM] When you arrive, though, you hear Rechegoko talking to someone inside.
[Marga] ... oh :x
[Rechegoko] Oh, we're in here, Marga!
* Rechegoko says, awkwardly.
* Marga pops her head in, also awkwardly
[Marga] ... Sorry, didn't know you had company :x
[NemnostiGM] You enter and see Rechegoko seated around a small fire, cooking a rabbit. Across from him, is Voice Rupun Lurusiri.
[Rupun] Ah, young Marga. I wondered whether you might come by.
[Marga] Hi!
* Rechegoko pauses, as if he's in the middle of some kind of awkward situation he doesn't know how to get out of.
[Rechegoko] Ahh ... so we were just talking.
* Rupun raises an eyebrow.
[Rupun] Don't worry, Marga, I won't steal him away from you.
[Marga] Umm, I can come back another time
* Rupun laughs.
[Rupun] No, it's just that ... we were at a point in the conversation that perhaps is relevant to you.
[Rupun] You came ... at an opportune time.
[Marga] Oh?
[Rechegoko] What snacks did you bring?
[Marga] I have some dried fruit and cheese...!
[Rupun] Sit, then. We can try to pick up where we left off, and I will take some cheese, which I get too rarely.
[Rechegoko] We were talking about families.
[Marga] Oh.. okay...
* Marga says uncertainly, but she unwraps her bundle of food and sets it out.
[Rupun] Rechegoko was mentioning to me how he has a very difficult relationship with his family. That he has been estranged from them for some time.
[Marga] Yeah...
[Rupun] And that, well, not that you are estranged ... but that you have a complicated connection to your own family.
[Marga] Me?
[Rechegoko] I didn't ... I mean I did say, but ... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned you, Marga.
[Marga] Well it's... fine, my family is fine :)
[Rupun] Yes, of course.
[Rupun] You know that I am the only Lurusiri? That I have taken upon myself a special role, to serve as Voice to the Forgotten Saint, Lurusiru Ula.
[NemnostiGM] (you do know that, at least vaguely, although the details are thin)
[NemnostiGM] (also, how much would you have told Rechegoko about your trip to Vulusilt, if anything?)
[Marga] Yeah... is Lurusiru uh... still around?
[Rupun] No, sadly, during the war that is now called the Great Purge, Their existence came to an end. Their remains are at Nemnosti, as an Ancestor.
[Marga] (probably just in general terms, that I went to do a thing with Kuspir and uh. I..zu? )
[Rupun] But Nemnu promised in Her wisdom to not let Them be truly Forgotten, despite their moniker. So there is always one Voice appointed to serve Them, to speak to Them, and to protect this place that They loved.
* Marga nods
[NemnostiGM] Marga, you think back to the various things that Lurokai said about the Purge and Lurusiru's opposition to it. You don't remember much of the details, of course.
[Rupun] At any rate ... of course I was not born into the Lurusiri. No one is.
[Marga] How did they get... ended?
[Rupun] Oh, that is a long, long story.
[Rupun] The Hulti had brought assassins and spies to this province ... it was a dark time.
[Rechegoko] Voice Rupun and I were talking about that. About how the Naznaz, and the other Hulti lineages, were not really the problem.
[Rechegoko] That there were outsiders who came in, causing discord among the Hulti, once the Purge had begun, mobilizing people.
[Rechegoko] That lots of Hulti lived in peace with Corps folks, for a long time.
[Rupun] It is true. Although the Old Folk never were comfortable with our peaceability with the New Kinds, revenants, bubun, saints.
[Rupun] But ... well, as Rechegoko alluded, we weren't talking about the distant past when you came upon us. But more recent things.
* Rupun eats cheese with gusto.
[Marga] Who were the outsiders though?
[Rupun] Some of them, they were called Writhing.
[Rupun] Spies, infiltrators, mystic warriors, is how they are described in the old books.
[Marga] Writhing?
[Marga] (I don't suppose I've ever heard that before)
[Marga] Sounds.. gross
[Marga] Or like a big pile of snakes.
[NemnostiGM] (you were not there in the scene when they interviewed that guy you killed cause your dad told you to)
[Marga] (ok cool)
[NemnostiGM] (so you would not necessarily know that he - Fikefol Naznaz - identified as being Writhing)
[Rechegoko] They still exist.
[Rechegoko] They are like ... militant deceivers.
* Rupun nods.
[Marga] Why? Why would they do that?
[Rupun] To survive.
[Rupun] Sometimes when you are under assault, you need to become something you are not.
[Marga] How does it benefit them? Like why would you come from away just to do that
[Rupun] To help in the fight against the Emperor and the Corps.
[Rupun] That was how they saw what they were doing, during the Purge. To support the hillfolk.
[Rupun] I do not claim to know everything that happened in those times. But what I do know is that the Writhing came to protect their people.
[Marga] Okay...
[Marga] What does this have to do with me then?
[Rupun] Nothing, I hope.
[Rupun] I ... was about to explain to Rechegoko here how I came to Nemnosti, how I came to serve Lurusiru and take on my role.
[Rupun] It is ... related, I suppose.
[Rechegoko] He was explaining his names.
[Marga] Oh yeah?
* Marga sounds interested
[Rupun] I have had ... well, depending on how you count them, five names? Six?
[Marga] How? :o
[Rupun] I was born as Inera Sortusai. A girl.
[Rupun] The Sortusai were, then as now, very noble, very wealthy, very powerful.
[Rupun] But also ... with much wrongness.
[Marga] Wrongness?
[Rupun] My cousin Faruzh ... he was a wicked man.
[Rupun] He ... well ... he mistreated me. When he was an adult and I was a girl. Let us say no more.
[Marga] Oh.... I'm so sorry.
[Rupun] I escaped, to Nemnosti. But here, I took the name Inera, or Rupun Sortustor. The Sortustor, they are a commoner lineage, owing fealty to the Sortusai.
[Rupun] But I could not bear my own name.
[Rupun] Or, it seems, my sex.
[Rupun] I took on the huthajai path, to become a Voice
[Marga] (is it known that izu is huthajai/trans?)
[NemnostiGM] (yes, or at least, very widely known)
[Marga] Oh! Like Izu?
[Izu] (I don't think he's told anyone specifically, but there are plenty of people around the Ulajeta that would remember his transition)
* Rupun nods.
[Rupun] Exactly, like Voice Izu.
[Marga] Neat!
[Rupun] And then, in time, Nemnu offered me the great honor to become Rupun Nemni, to be adopted into Her own family.
[Marga] She must like you a lot.
[Rupun] She has always had warm feelings for those, like me, who have had hard family lives.
[Rupun] I have the Lady's Name of Besura, so that name is mine as well. And there are those who call me Bent-river, though few enough, these days, who remember my days as an acolyte.
[Rupun] But in the end I took the name Lurusiri, once I took the role to serve Them.
[Rupun] So I have had four lineages, Sortusai, Sortustor, Nemni, Lurusiri.
[Rupun] And at least three forenames, Inera, Rupun, Besura.
[Marga] Wow!
[Rupun] One would think I would forget them all.
[Rupun] These days, it is just Voice Rupun, or Rupun Lurusiri.
[Marga] As long as you remember that one, I guess
[Rupun] But I am very mindful that She chose me for this role, because I had been hurt, just as Lurusiru Themselves suffered.
[Rupun] They were just a child when They awakened.
[Marga] Oh...
[Rechegoko] Marga, don't worry, I'm not about to convert or anything, but what Rupun says, it makes a lot of sense.
[Marga] What is he saying?
[Rechegoko] About how, when you have had a bad family, that you find the family that really needs you, and you serve them.
[Marga] Oh...
* Marga cis trying to connect the dots
[Marga] (is)
[Rupun] My patron, Their life was hard, and Their sainthood, even harder.
[Rupun] But it was through service to Their cult, Their people, that They found joy.
[Rupun] That was what made it so hard, when the temple here was destroyed, and the village.
[Marga] Is that why They... died?
* Rupun pauses.
[Rupun] Yes.
[Marga] That's... really sad.
[NemnostiGM] (give me a Sense Motive, cause why not?)
* Marga looks downcast.
[Marga] !roll 1d20+2
[NemnostiGM] (Marga, you're no expert on humans, but there's definitely a much longer story there, and more to it than Rupun is saying)
* Marga frowns, thinking hard about whether she should say something else
[Marga] Is that... all?
[Rupun] No ... not all.
[Rupun] But perhaps enough for now, to say that I have come to appreciate that my own hard life can be used to turn to some higher purpose.
[Marga] I can see that, sure
[Rupun] That if I were to have not had the life I had, I would probably be Inera Sortusai, married to some nobleman from Onighus, with a handful of children, and probably now, grandchildren.
[Rupun] But that I would not have served my purpose.
* Marga nods slowly
[Rechegoko] I have a lot of thinking to do.
[Marga] About... what exactly?
* Marga still does not quite understand what's being left unsaid here
* Rechegoko pauses.
[Rechegoko] About what I have to do, to stop whatever my family is doing.
[Rechegoko] The Naznaz are not all wicked, but they are all caught up in this stuff.
[Rechegoko] Maybe the Gagos too?
[Marga] Well... Saza is, for sure.
[Rupun] I should go.
[Rupun] But I do not think that you have been brought here idly.
[Rupun] I have come to understand that Unfolding, which is mysterious to all of us, brings us to places where we are meant to be.
[Rupun] You did not build your camp out here without there being some force knowing the history of this place, Rechegoko.
[Marga] That does make sense
[Rupun] And our shared history, well, that just brings us together further.
* Rechegoko nods.
[Rechegoko] I think ... Marga and I, we have some things we need to talk about, too. We're not as dumb as everyone thinks we are.
[Rupun] No indeed!
[Rupun] I will leave you to ... talk, then.
[Rupun] Thank you for the cheese.
[Marga] You're welcome!
* Rupun stands and leaves, so you can get on with the business at hand.
[Marga] so....
* Rechegoko smiles.
[Rechegoko] So.

Alai talks to Ozh Laigrunuf about her lineage, its Hulti history, and plans to meet with the hengi

[NemnostiGM] Alai, having an apprentice so far has been not too arduous. Irdomila is, as promised, a hard worker, and of course has enough knowledge of this place to know how an apprentice ought to behave.
[NemnostiGM] A bit headstrong, but that's not always a bad thing.
[Alai] (but can she sew?)
[NemnostiGM] (probably, she is the woman of her house, after all!)
[NemnostiGM] You have been doing your own research into gates and portals of various magical kinds. You don't know whether whatever the Crease actually is fits that definition, but it is something worth some attention, at least.
[NemnostiGM] You've got a stack of manuscripts on one side of you, a flagon of wine on the other.
[NemnostiGM] As you're working, you hear a voice behind you.
[Ozh] Hey, what you working on?
[NemnostiGM] It's Ozh Laigrunuf. She's been on your mind at various times, lately, of course, because of what you've learned about the Hulti of her lineage, Gil Hargush, and Musune, not least of which is Gunuremai.
* Alai stretches and turns back to her.
[Alai] Am trying to define what is yet to be defined... or choses not to fit in definitions known. Not a fruitful task, alas.
[Alai] Is there something I can help with??
[Ozh] Umm ... no ... maybe?
[Ozh] So I talked to Jevai a while ago.
[Ozh] Maybe around Romokh?
[Ozh] Anyway ... I ... look can I just ask you a question?
[Alai] I see little swooning in either of you, so not as you hoped?
[Ozh] Do you think that I annoy Jevai?
[Ozh] Like, I know I annoy people, because I talk too much, or say what I'm thinking, or ramble about things, or whatever.
[Ozh] But I was just thinking, maybe it's that Jevai has been stressed out about things, or maybe I don't know, with research, or whatever.
[Ozh] And maybe, do you think maybe, that she maybe has just forgotten to talk to me?
[Ozh] I'm sorry, I know I'm annoying.
[Alai] Oh I am sure she is stressed. She carries load like stone. Is not just you she is hard. It is her. As I say a little like stone.
[Alai] I would not manage the way she does, but she is she, and is best she stay the way she is.
[Ozh] Right, of course, that makes total sense.
[Alai] I suppose that is little comfort to you.
* Alai stands and faces her friend.
[Ozh] Well anyway when I talked to Jevai, I told her that I would be happy to help with her research, or anything else, or ... I'm rambling again.
[Ozh] I know she doesn't like me that way. Like, I'm not *dumb*.
[Alai] Did she take you up on offer?
* Ozh shakes her head.
[Ozh] And I know that it's not that she forgot, it's that I'm a weird awkward person and it would be more convenient to not have to deal with me.
[Alai] Oh Ozh... she is not purposely avoiding you, I am fairly certain. Is just she herself is not one ot seek others out.
[Alai] If you want talk to her, get wine in basket and go find and talk to her over good bottle.
[Ozh] Right, of course, that makes sense.
* Ozh nods eagerly.
[Ozh] Do you think that she would want my help with your research? I mean, not that you are researching the same thing as her, on Musune and stuff, I mean, maybe you are, but I wouldn't know that.
[Ozh] I just mean ...
* Ozh sighs
[Alai] They are similar, in ways. You have good stories?
[Ozh] Well, my great-uncle, he has been asking me about what you are doing out there
[NemnostiGM] (you would know that her great-uncle, Urunu Laigrunuf, is the hengi. He lives in Bemnes, which is where the Laigrunufs now have their iftibal)
[NemnostiGM] (You don't know him personally but because the Vegrus are also in Bemnes, you know who he is)
[Alai] Oh? What does he ask?
[Ozh] Well, just what you are doing in Musune and at Gil Hargush, what your interest is in those things.
[Ozh] He knows a lot about the history of our lineage ... I mean, I do too. There are things we don't just say out loud.
[Ozh] And I was just saying to Jevai that I would help her, but I think maybe she thought I wanted to HELP her, you know, and I mean, it's all a little silly, and I'm sorry, I'm rambling again.
[Alai] So you know history, even back to Purge?
* Alai will get a chair for Ozh and a cup for wine.
[Ozh] Oh yes. I mean ... yes.
* Ozh says, meaningfully.
[Alai] So tell? What are stories?
[Ozh] Well, like ... how much do you know about how the Laigrunuf came into existence?
[Alai] (how much do I know?)
[NemnostiGM] (well you know what Gunuremai said at the Crease ... that there were Galai, Egruchai, and Nufumor, three Hulti lineages of Ravre, and that the Laigrunuf were who were left behind, the loyalists and Corps-followers)
[Alai] Is just they were left behind. Loyalist and followers of the Corps.
* Ozh nods
[Ozh] That's right. They left, during the Purge, and wherever they went, we were what was left behind.
[Ozh] But we still have some of the knowledge of those days. At least, I know the hengis do. They keep old records and treasures and things, even though mostly those times are long forgotten.
[Alai] Perhaps Uncle is worries we dig up bad memories? Is little late for that.
[Ozh] He's worried because of all the Hulti stuff going on.
[Ozh] Like, that somehow the revenants getting killed, is connected to Musune and the Purge and why you keep going out there.
[Alai] and if it all is?
[Ozh] Then I would want to help you and Jevai, if I could.
[Ozh] If you are serving Nemnu in all this, then I would want to help Her too
[Alai] Can you get those records you spoke of or at least learn what is on them]
[Ozh] Well, a lot of them are not written down, exactly.
[Ozh] The hengi has a carved staff and an embroidered robe, that have the history on them, if you know how to read it.
[Ozh] And then of course a lot of stories that get passed down orally
[Ozh] We're country folk, after all. Most of us can't read.
[Alai] Do you know how to read them?
[Ozh] I do.
[Alai] So just have to get your Uncle to give up robe and staff, and have good read party?
* Ozh laughs.
[Ozh] He's definitely much too suspicious for that.
[Ozh] But he's not a secret Hulti spy, if that's what you're worried about. And neither am I.
[Alai] I never considered you were.
* Ozh laughs.
[Ozh] Good!
[Ozh] I just know that whatever you've been doing, that you and Jevai and whoever else is helping you aren't exactly talking a lot about it.
[Alai] So we go talk to Uncle and have it out, then he lets us read. Is quiet because is dangerous. Too many deaths already.
[Ozh] Just you and me?
[Alai] You want someone else to come?
[Ozh] Well ... not necessarily ... but if Jevai wanted to come.
[Alai] we ask then. Someone else local may help convince Uncle. She make you less or more nervous about whole thing?
* Ozh smiles.
[Ozh] Probably more, but that's fine!
* Alai shrugs
[Alai] Is plan then. I'll make it happen.
[Ozh] Great, thank you so much!
* Ozh gives you a hug, then remembers who she is hugging and steps back.
[Ozh] Sorry.
[Ozh] I get enthusiastic.
* Alai smiles
[Alai] Is fine
* Alai hugs her back

Jevai talks to Naka about her past with Eng-dur and the circumstances of his illness and ‘death’

[NemnostiGM] Jevai, you've been continuing to puzzle over all of this stuff, not least of which is Eng-dur.
[NemnostiGM] Every time you come away from a meeting with him, you feel like you are spiralling downward, or outward, or whichever way things are spiralling.
[NemnostiGM] You know more than you did, and yet have more questions.
[NemnostiGM] But you know that Eng-dur can't possibly answer those all for you, and so you need to seek wisdom elsewhere.
[NemnostiGM] I believe you wanted to talk to Naka?
[Jevai] (well, I wasn't planning to seek her out exactly but I probably do see her a reasonable amount anyway)
[Jevai] (Liek meeting her for dinner or something)
[NemnostiGM] All right, you are out in the statue garden reading during the few hours of the day that it is still warm enough for that, when you see her and Ghoko out collecting herbs.
* Jevai waves
[Ghoko] Hello, Jevai!
* Ghoko waves back and comes over, their long head-arms waving wildly.
* Naka walks a little slower, stooping to pick up and discard a weed between the flagstones.
[Naka] Hello, Jevai.
[Jevai] Hello to you both!
[Jevai] how is the harvest?
[Naka] Coming to an end. But it's been a good year.
* Jevai nods
[Jevai] I'm something has been
[Jevai] (I'm glad, etc)
[Naka] Yes, well. You heard about the latest business with Hojon?
* Jevai shakes her head
[Naka] He quarrelled with Ifa, and he struck her.
[Naka] There are some days when I am reminded that even after forty years here, I am not a Nemni and never will be.
[Jevai] quarreled with Ifa? Over what? Is she okay?
[Naka] She suggested that he should step down as hengi.
[Jevai] I cannot imagine that is somethign she woudl say lightly
[Naka] She's fine. She's a strong girl. But the matter isn't going away
* Jevai nods
[Jevai] I can check in on her... perhaps it would be good to have some external distraction
[Naka] How have you been?
* Jevai smiles a bit ruefully
[Jevai] Too preoccipied, I'm sure.
[Jevai] ...Can I ask you something?
[Naka] Of course, dear, what is it?
[Jevai] I am sure it will soudns like it is coming from nowhere btu I have been thinking about related things...
[Jevai] You knew Eng-dur, yes?
[Naka] Yes, I knew him.
[Naka] We were just about the same age.
* Jevai nods
[Jevai] I thought so
[Jevai] Woudl you say you knew him well?
* Naka pauses, as if composing her thoughts.
[Naka] Yes, I would say that.
[NemnostiGM] (SM, if you care to)
* Jevai rolls [ 1d20+10 ] getting [ 15 ] which, after the modifier [ 10 ] totals [ 25 ]
[NemnostiGM] You have definitely stepped into Some Awkwardness.
* Jevai gives her a puzzled/curious lok
* Naka sighs.
[Naka] What do you want to know, and why are you asking?
[Jevai] ...I was going to ask if you might know why he decided to take me as his pebble but.... should I ask something else?
* Naka sighs again.
[Naka] I do not know enough about sigillants to know, really, why they choose the pebbles they do.
* Naka is clearly struggling with something.
[Jevai] Well, no.... but I was asking about him
[Naka] Here, I'll sit, we'll talk.
* Jevai will shuffle over so she can sit
[Naka] You know, of course, that I grew up very traditionally in the village, before I became an acolyte and met Zaren and all that.
[Jevai] of course
[Naka] Eng-dur grew up in Vija Sogo, up in the high hills, but the Chuchuru, they basically were, are, nomads.
[Naka] They have an iftibal of sorts up there, but they are not a settled clan, by any means. Half-wild.
[Naka] So his own training as a sigillant, much of it took place in Akapa Sogo, where his own Upward lived.
[Naka] We were friends.
[Jevai] before you came here?
* Naka shakes her head.
[Naka] Well, yes, a little, but mostly after I came here.
[Naka] You really didn't know about the argument Ifa had with Hojon?
* Naka says, out of seemingly nowhere.
[NemnostiGM] (you didn't, it wouldn't really have come up unless you had seen Ifa)
[NemnostiGM] (but you have no idea why Naka would bring that up)
[Jevai] No, I'm not really involved in any Nemni business
[Jevai] ...why?
* Jevai frowns a little
* Naka shakes her head in astonishment.
[Jevai] does that have somerthitn to do with Eng-dur? o_O
[Naka] When we were all young together, now I'm talking, I was fifteen, sixteen, something like that.
[Naka] And Zaren was a little older, he's three years older than I am.
[Naka] Jevai, there was a time when Zaren and I were first together, where I was, I suppose you might say, I was in love with Eng-dur.
* Jevai nods
[Naka] I don't think Eng-dur is really set up that way. But at the time, it was all very confusing.
[Naka] He was so brilliant.
[Naka] He was ... astonishing.
[Naka] And Zaren, well, he is amazing in a thousand ways, but 'astonishing' is not a word I'd choose.
[Naka] So there was - and apparently still is - a rumor, around those who were close to Zaren back then, that Zurusha is not his.
[Jevai] ahh
[Naka] Hojon alluded to it during his fight with Ifa, although I think in a way that would not have been clear, if you didn't know already.
[Naka] And so I assumed that was perhaps why you were bringing up Eng-dur.
[Naka] But clearly not.
[Jevai] No, he never mentioned anything like that, though perhaps he was not aware. Or didn't care, if there were rumours
[Naka] He was never interested in me that way. You understand. But he did love me, in his own way.
[Naka] We were very close, for a time.
* Jevai nods
[Naka] And I was just a foolish country girl, in love with a gay man and also in love with the man who has been at my side the last forty years.
[Naka] I suppose in my way I still do love Eng-dur. I miss him, as I am sure you do.
[Naka] Just so there is no confusion, there is no way that Zurusha could be his. Or Ifa and Izu, or any of my children.
* Naka hastens to add.
[Jevai] he was always...unique
[Naka] He was.
* Jevai smiles
[Jevai] And yes, I woudl not have believed that
[Naka] But whether that influenced whether he would take you on as a pebble, I do not know. I do know that he said, once or twice at least, that you reminded him of me.
[Jevai] were you still close, after he took me on?
[Naka] Well, not in quite the same way. Not in the 'long nights in the woods collecting herbs and talking around the campfire' way.
[Naka] But yes. Even in those latter years. We were friends.
[Jevai] Did he ever talk to you, about what he was doing?
* Naka definitely pauses and you have definitely stepped in More Awkwardness.
[Naka] Yes.
* Ghoko listens quietly by his lady's side.
[Naka] He was ill, I don't know if you knew that.
[Jevai] Not at the time
[Naka] He came to me for treatment. I couldn't provide him anything that would help.
* Jevai nods
[Naka] I know everyone has their theory about what happened. I think the truth is that when he got sick enough, he went out into the hills and ensured that his body would not be found.
[Jevai] why?
[Naka] I don't know, Jevai, I really don't.
[Jevai] :/
[Naka] Because I think he lived without attachment, and had no kin who would care to speak to him as an Ancestor, perhaps.
[Jevai] His sister woudl disagree with that
[Naka] I know.
[Naka] What do you think happened to him?
[Jevai] he was careful not to let me ever know what he was up to.
[Jevai] I learned so much from him but sometimes I feel... very used
[Naka] Used?
[Jevai] oh, all ther things he wanted to have me look into, here, for him... the idea that he encouraged me to come here for his own purposes
[Jevai] She told me that he had asked her to take me on, you know
[Jevai] I learned so much, as his pebbled but... you just said, didn't you, that he lived without attachment
[Naka] Exactly.
[Jevai] so, yes
* Jevai waves a hand
[Jevai] Compared to Downward..
[Jevai] it was such a balm to spend time with him
[Jevai] but
* Jevai is actualy pretty upset
[Jevai] Well.
[Naka] No one is perfect. But I don't think Eng-dur ever thought much about other people in the way that most of us do.
[Naka] Not as things to be used, nor as things to be treasured.
[Naka] More like ... people who come into our field of vision, to be experienced, and then ... go away.
[Naka] No malice or spite about it. Just ... there, and then not there. Which is why, I suppose, everyone has a theory about what happened to him, but no one has taken much time on it.
[Naka] Honestly, if I didn't know how serious his illness was, I'd half-expect him to show up one day, asking for advice on which mushrooms not to eat.
* Jevai takes a deep breath
* Jevai sighs
[Jevai] what would you do if he did?
* Naka smiles.
[Naka] Probably hit him a couple of times and then get on with it as if no time had passed.
[NemnostiGM] (I'll have you make that Bluff now)
[Jevai] !roll 1d20+14
* Jevai rolls [ 1d20+14 ] getting [ 8 ] which, after the modifier [ 14 ] totals [ 22 ]
[Naka] (anyway, you can continue)
* Jevai nods
[Jevai] I thought it would be helpful to know, why he picked me to start with, but maybe there's nothing to it
[Naka] Well, for the record, I think he made an inspired choice.
[Naka] Even if, like with me, he left behind complicated feelings.
* Jevai nods
[Naka] Well ... I hope you find the answers you are looking for.
[Naka] Be kind to yourself, Jevai.
[Jevai] Thank you.

Izu talks to Nemnu about Ancestor Lurokai and the Great Purge, Lurusiru Ula’s condition, and the succession at the temple

[NemnostiGM] Izu, since your return from Vulusilt, and your dialogue with the Ancestor Lurokai, you have increasingly become aware of the need to talk to Nemnu about this.
[NemnostiGM] Are you terrified that She will be angry? A little.
[NemnostiGM] Are you wishing that Ingo or anyone else could do it ? Sure.
[NemnostiGM] But you also know that this kind of secret is exactly what Voices are for - to know the things long forgotten, except by the Ancestors. Even the dark things.
[NemnostiGM] And that whatever your feelings may be, Her feelings are centuries older.
[NemnostiGM] You are up in her chambers, having just taken a set of papers off to be archived. You have Her sitting by a small window, looking out over the Pardopasu from the third floor of Carver's Hall.
* Nemnu enjoys sitting by the window sometimes, although never for too long.
* Izu tries not to fidget with his robes uncontrollably.
[Izu] My Lady... may I speak with you.
[Nemnu] Of course, dear Farai.
[Izu] You have told us in the courses, that You do not want us to always follow what You want. That we are not to simply obey, but to trust ourselves as we trust You. I admit I have often struggled with this particular course.
[Nemnu] Inevitably - it is meant to be a struggle.
[Nemnu] But to do otherwise would be to trust me blindly, and I would never ask for that.
[Izu] Then if you would not ask me to trust You blindly, I feel that there are things I must ask You about. Things which have come to light. Old things.
[Nemnu] Of course, what is it?
[Izu] What truly happened during The Purge?
[Nemnu] Many things. What in particular do you want to know more about?
[Izu] What did the emperor's forces do to the Hulti? And what happened to Lurusiru Ula?
* Izu turns slightly paler as he asks the questions.
[Nemnu] Ah.
[Nemnu] Of course there had always been Hulti, in the high hills, and even in some of the Omban communities in the Pardopasu.
[Nemnu] They weren't welcome, exactly, but as long as there was no disruption, they were tolerated.
[Nemnu] The Great Purge, it was something imposed on us.
[Nemnu] The Temotine Purge, was what we called it at the time.
[Nemnu] Temotina, the Heart of the Dead at the time, and her Hands, were exceptionally vigilant. I had always wanted to temper their enthusiasm, but the Emperor would not hear of it.
[Nemnu] My young friend, Lurusiru, They wanted another path. Peace, talking, negotiating with Hulti.
[Nemnu] In the end, I advocated for removal - for clearing any Hulti out to Malfan. That it was kinder than what would have happened if the Emperor had them.
[Nemnu] In retrospect, I do not know what the right decision was.
[Nemnu] Just that whatever solution we had hoped for, we did not find it.
[Nemnu] In the end, most of them left, but those who did not. Well. The Emperor's forces were passionate in their cause.
[Izu] I have heard some of the things which were done. I have spoken to Lurukai Fijem.
[Nemnu] You have? What took you out to Vulusilt? Wait, is Lurokai still at Vulusilt?
[Izu] He was. It was suggested that we should speak to him, to learn more of what has been going on. He has been brought back here, to the Ulajeta. We thought it the correct thing to do.
[Nemnu] Who is 'we'?
[Izu] Myself, Ghorgime, Kuspir, and Marga.
[Izu] I take full responsibility for breaking the red shroud. The others are not to blame.
[Nemnu] I did not place the Red Shroud upon Lurokai. That was at the insistence of the Emperor.
[Izu] I see.
[Nemnu] What did he have to say?
[Izu] He said that the hulti were slaughtered and... brought back. Including his wife, Aibaila.
[Nemnu] That is true.
[Izu] My lady... how can we revere an emperor who who order such things?
[Nemnu] It is a tactic, of the generals of the Hand. Centuries old, even then.
[Nemnu] I do not ask you to revere Him. In fact, I recall advocating that you fear Him.
[Izu] Then he is our enemy.
[Nemnu] His interests are not ours. I would not encourage you to think of Him as enemy, though.
[Nemnu] Most who have ever done so, have not lived long.
[Izu] Is that why you could not stop the purge?
[Nemnu] The Purge, it was not just here, of course. Omba, Khutu, Taizi, Hasmala ... even beyond.
[Izu] Of course. But it was also here.
[Nemnu] It was.
[Izu] But Lurusiru Ula tried to stop him. And for that he silenced Her.
* Nemnu pauses, in a way that only you and a few others can tell that she is actually pausing, not just sitting still as always.
[Nemnu] Yes.
* Izu nods.
[Izu] I am sorry.
[Nemnu] It was a complicated time. Lurusiru, They and I were not speaking at the time.
[Nemnu] They thought of me as no better than the Emperor. Just as complicit.
[Nemnu] I wanted to get the tribes off to Malfan, where they would not be bothered. But Lurusiru, They wanted ... They wanted coexistence
[Nemnu] In the end, the Emperor and His Hands ordered the destruction of Lurusiru Osti, the village, the temple, and the Hulti who were being sheltered there.
[Nemnu] But they did not kill Lurusiru Ula.
[Izu] I know.
[Nemnu] What is it that you know?
[Izu] She she only... sleeps, perhaps. If that is the right word.
[Izu] (They)
[Nemnu] For two hundred and thirty years now.
[Nemnu] I slept myself, for three, at the end of it all.
[Nemnu] I am not sure it mattered much to me whether I awoke.
[Izu] I am... truly... sorry that You were put in that situation. You have held this knowledge alone for two and a half centuries. I cannot imagine your pain.
[Nemnu] There are many who would blame me for causing Their slumber.
[Izu] Would They?
[Nemnu] I do not know. I like to believe no. But the last time we spoke ... it was not kind.
[Nemnu] And I believe that ... if They truly forgave me, would they not awaken?
[Izu] I do not know. Can They?
[Izu] What keeps Them asleep?
[Nemnu] I do not know.
[Nemnu] You must understand, Eluli does not know. And if He did, I do not know how he would react.
[Nemnu] He knows, of course, that there is a body in the Inner Caves. And that there is a Lurusiri Voice still.
[Nemnu] But He believes They have fallen to bone, as an Ancestor.
[Izu] I assume you have tried to wake Them.
[Nemnu] Many times.
[Nemnu] Most recently, only a few months ago, when I had you summon Rupun to me.
[Izu] Ah.
[Nemnu] Now that you know all this, have you changed your view on your commitment to my service?
[Izu] My Lady... that was never in question.
[Nemnu] Of that, I am glad.
[Nemnu] I have surely made many mistakes. No one has ever thought me infallible.
[Nemnu] I have worked for two hundred years to try to make this right, if only for young Cedar if not for all the dead Lurusiri.
[Izu] I am sorry to have brought this up but... I needed to know. For our investigations. To be able to face these new threats. I did not broach this subject lightly. I believe You did what You thought best, and that You have suffered the guilt from that decision for centuries. I cannot say what I would have done.
[Izu] I understand if you would no longer have me serve.
[Nemnu] I need you more than ever, Izu.
[Nemnu] I needed Farai, a century before the Purge, to waken me from my first slumber.
[Nemnu] And I need you now, Izu-Farai, not to wake me, but to help guide us in the right path.
* Izu will hesitantly put a hand on her arm.
[Izu] My Lady, I will do everything I can to help you find the right path through the unfolding. As Kuspir would say... until feet fail.
[Nemnu] Well, then, there is just one other thing to talk about.
[Izu] Which is?
[Nemnu] I cannot make you my high priest, Izu. Not now. Even though you, of all my Voices, are nearest to me. Even though I know you would want it.
[Izu] I understand.
[Nemnu] I cannot see how exactly I will need you in the next months.
[Nemnu] But I do see clearly, I need you in a place where you are not constrained by duty, or at least, not those duties.
[Nemnu] I may need you in dark places, in places of art and cunning, in the crevices and nooks.
[Nemnu] I may need you in broad daylight, but in a place where the sun shines on others more brightly, so that you may work unobtrusively.
[Nemnu] It is not out of mistrust that I deny you this. Rather, quite the opposite.
[Nemnu] So, you will help me to choose which of my servants will occupy that space. And then in time ... yes. You will serve in whatever way you wish, once I have the liberty to make such a choice.
[Izu] I... am honored, My Lady.
[Nemnu] You may let me know your decision when you have made it.
[Izu] Very well. In the meantime, though I am your voice, I will be your hand in dark places.
[Nemnu] Indeed. Speaking of which. I have had enough time at the window.
[Nemnu] I will rest now.
[Izu] Yes, My Lady. Of course.
* Izu will take her back to her chambers.

Ifa gets talked to by Jesa about her outburst against Hojon, and they discuss Nemni politics, including Detevus and Veruve

[NemnostiGM] Ifa, ever since your outburst at the iftibal, you've been cautious around those of your fellow Nemni, especially those with close ties to Hojon.
[NemnostiGM] Ajemika was clearly able to calm him down enough that you haven't been expelled or anything like that.
[NemnostiGM] And there's enough else going on in your life to keep you well and truly distracted at the moment.
[NemnostiGM] Still, you know that there will be consequences - how could your words be effective otherwise? It's just a matter of time.
* Nary (~Curtana_nd24-57-67-2.home.cgocable.net) has joined #nemnosti
[NemnostiGM] Today, you are at the small area that passes for a Hand temple in Carver's Hall. You and Jesa are the only ones who spend a lot of time there. Right now you're preparing some notes for next week, when you need to address the acolytes on theology.
[NemnostiGM] You are interrupted by Jesa, who comes in and stands before you.
[Jesa] Ifa, I was hoping you had a moment for us to talk.
[Ifa] Of course, Jesa. What's on your mind?
[Jesa] I've received some concerns about your work.
[Jesa] Specifically, that you have exceeded your authority.
* Ifa frowns.
[Ifa] How so?
* Jesa frowns right back, and is definitely better at it than you.
[Jesa] Regarding the hengi.
* Ifa gestures for her to continue.
[Jesa] It is, of course, natural that one would have concerns for one's family, especially when they may be suffering.
[Jesa] The specific words used to me need not be repeated.
[Jesa] But I thought I should at least discuss the matter with you.
* Ifa nods.
* Jesa waits for you to respond.
[Ifa] Oh! I thought you were going first.
[Jesa] No, I thought I would wait for you to explain yourself.
* Ifa considers.
[Jesa] I will admit, much of what I know about the situation has been filtered through different perspectives.
* Ifa nods.
[Ifa] I'm sad that it came to what it did. I've been trying to handle this as...gently as possible. But we don't know if we have time to spare, so I felt we must act as though we didn't.
[Jesa] And when you say 'we', you mean ...?
[Ifa] Ultimately, the ulajeta, but, in specific, the Nemni, as the leading lineage within it.
[Jesa] Tell me, in your own words, the nature of your concern.
[Ifa] There is danger around us, perhaps more than has been the case in at least decades.
[Ifa] Does that seem like a fair assessment?
[Jesa] I would agree, other than perhaps the Daghuri Plague. But this is not a plague.
* Ifa nods.
[Ifa] I would posit that our response to said danger will require swift, sound judgment and leadership.
[Jesa] No one could disagree with that.
[Ifa] While I know there are many who may not believe this, I bear Hojon any ill will. But I do think his capacity no longer meets this requirement.
[Ifa] I have empathy for his condition, and sympathy for his situation, but it does us all a disservice, Hojon included, ultimately, to pretend this is not the case.
[Jesa] I can't disagree with any of that.
[Jesa] It is, I suppose, the question of whether you, specifically, should have done so.
* Ifa nods.
[Jesa] And you will doubtless tell me that if you hadn't, no one else would have.
[Ifa] I'm not sure I would make that case.
[Ifa] My argument is more that we do not have the time to wait and see.
[Ifa] Or, at least, we do not know if we have that time, hence...
* Ifa shrugs.
[Ifa] If the lineage and the ulajeta endure, I will be happy to suffer whatever consequences may come my way.
* Jesa sighs.
[Jesa] This is not about suffering, Ifa.
* Jesa waves her hands around the small area.
[Jesa] I am not privileged enough to have a wide range of Hands at my disposal.
[Jesa] I can hardly dole out punishments.
* Ifa nods slowly, listneing closely.
[Jesa] My concern, I suppose, is that, given how few our numbers are here, if our independence is seen as compromised, we lose our capacity to work effectively.
[Jesa] You are not the only one of us with connections to those who would oppose Hojon.
[Jesa] I have heard that my cousin Detevus is one of those who might be considered.
[Ifa] How do you mean?
[Ifa] Oh, yes.
* Ifa nods.
[Jesa] My other cousin, Amasa, Detevus's half-sister, discussed all of this with me.
[Jesa] My father's brother is their father.
[Jesa] And so, while I am no Nemni, as you are ... well.
[Jesa] This place is so small, we are all interconnected.
[Ifa] Of course.
[Jesa] It is said by some that your branch of the family means to raise a candidate.
[Ifa] Not to my knowledge. Had that been the case, I wouldn't have acted when and how I did.
[Jesa] Well, that is a relief, at least.
* Jesa relaxes visibly, though still standing.
[Jesa] In that case, how can I be of assistance?
[Ifa] Any guidance you can offer would be welcome.
[Ifa] I don't know how to serve our community differently than what I have done.
[Jesa] In your view, who is best-suited for the role?
[Ifa] Best-suited? I think arguments could be made for several candidates.
[Ifa] That said, Ajemika has been essentially fulfilling the role already.
[Jesa] Hmmm. She's young. Barely thirty.
* Ifa nods concession to that point.
[Ifa] Youth is not the same as inexperience.
[Ifa] I've no doubt Detevus would make an honorable and concientious choice as well.
[Jesa] Hmm.
[Jesa] He would be very diligent.
[Ifa] That sounds a bit like damning with faint praise.
[Jesa] There are reasons why someone like him, nearly fifty, a member of the Nemni, would have risen no further among the stoneguards than he has.
[Jesa] Your friend Kuspir enjoys a far better reputation, and word is that whenever Ghorgimbe chooses, he would take over.
[NemnostiGM] (I'll give you a K:local check if you care to)
[Ifa] (Sure)
[Ifa] !roll 1d20+13
* Lan-werk rolls for Ifa: [ 1d20+13 ] getting [ 7 ] which, after the modifier [ 13 ] totals [ 20 ].
[Ifa] (Ugh, I never roll particularly well, and this is one of my most important skills.)
[Ifa] (Oh, if it matters at all, that should be 21. I haven't levelled yet.)
[NemnostiGM] You have a vague recollection of some kind of episode a dozen years ago or so, involving Detevus. But mostly your recollection of him is just as a kind of nobody.
[NemnostiGM] Whatever Jesa is alluding to, you don't know.
[Ifa] What do you mean Detevus would rise no further?
[Jesa] Perhaps I should sit.
[Ifa] Please.
* Jesa does so.
[Jesa] I have no doubt that Detevus would want to be hengi.
[Jesa] There was an ... incident. Perhaps ten or eleven years ago?
[Ifa] Okay...
[Jesa] You might have been in Onighus at the time.
* Ifa nods.
[NemnostiGM] (That checks out, you were there from 757-759)
[Jesa] Detevus became inappropriately attached to a woman. Not just any woman, but Nemnu's own apprentice, Veruve.
[Ifa] "Inappropriately"?
[Jesa] He was married at the time, and Ikhesi would have been just a few years old.
* Ifa nods.
[Jesa] Obsessed, let's say.
* Ifa frowns.
[Jesa] A few years earlier when Veruve was just an acolyte, he had saved her and a friend who were drowning in the Pasu.
[Jesa] After that ... he took a special interest in her.
[Ifa] Hrm.
[Jesa] Ultimately, her adoption into the Nemni was as much to protect her from his affections as it was to honour her contributions to the Lady.
* Ifa nods.
[Jesa] Although, of course, Veruve is very talented in her own right.
[Ifa] She is, yes.
[Jesa] We presumed - and here I mean 'we' as the Hand - that whatever else he was, he would not commit incest.
* Ifa scowls.
[Ifa] Presumed?
[Jesa] Well, you know, there are many who would turn a blind eye when a distinguished Nemni gentleman takes a lover. It is not the worst thing in the world.
[Jesa] But to take a lover who is a kinswoman ... well, Detevus is honourable, as you noted.
[Ifa] Well, I had thought so...
[Jesa] In any event, this would not have come to anything. Veruve was not so inclined.
* Ifa nods.
[Jesa] But since that time, there has been a rift between him and Nemnu.
[Jesa] Not that She would put it as such.
[Ifa] How would she put it?
[Jesa] I would not presume to speak for Her.
[Jesa] She would surely say that She loves all her Nemni family.
[Ifa] I'm sure that's the case, in her way.
[Jesa] Anyway, the point is that Hojon is hardly the only Nemni man to have his moral failings.
* Ifa nods.
[Ifa] Well, this is why I've been hoping Ajemika would stand up.
[Jesa] It must be an impossible situation
[Ifa] It's not ideal, no.
[Jesa] She has to care for the man, both as her father and as her hengi, but also, as I understand it, increasingly as a child.
* Ifa nods.
[Ifa] This is what I mean when I say I bear Hojon no ill will.
[Ifa] He's of our lineage as well.
[Ifa] He's not well, and deserves rest and time.
[Ifa] Neither he nor the rest of us are served by him continuing in his role.
[Ifa] Though clearly there are bad options for his successor.
[Jesa] There are others. Sakasa, perhaps, if she could be convinced to come home for good.
[Jesa] I will admit my first thought when I heard what you had done was that you had an interest yourself.
* Ifa sighs.
[Ifa] I like being a Hand.
[Jesa] I'm glad. You do an excellent job.
[Ifa] I want to serve. If, somehow, I were asked or forced into that particular service, I would of course approach it with the same dedication, but I don't want power for its own sake.
[Ifa] If I can serve as I have, that would bring me the most happiness.
[Jesa] There are those who would stand with your father, if he chose.
[Ifa] I think he could do it, and well, but I also think he would feel that would be betraying his friend.
[Jesa] So what is the next step? For you, or for anyone else?
[Ifa] I don't know. My hope is people will start coming forward, I guess, to challenge Hojon. Though I prefer to think of it as relieving him, though I know he won't.
* Jesa nods.
[Jesa] I will make some time to talk to Ajemika.
[Jesa] Just ... in general.
[Jesa] I think this sort of event is exactly where the Hand excels, and the Voice, well, our brothers mean well but they do not have the capacity for this sort of politics.
* Ifa smiles.
[Ifa] I think, here especially, they have their own politics to navigate.
[Ifa] It would make me feel better if you did talk to Ajemika.
* Jesa nods.
[Jesa] It will not be long before word of this attack on Hojon - not my words, but it will be others' - gets out, both to our allies and our enemies.
[Jesa] I will, with great care, alert Hand Keruna in Naftusa.
* Ifa nods.
[Ifa] All the more reason for us to settle one way or another as soon as possible.
[Jesa] She is of course far better-connected to the politics of the nobility than either of us.
* Jesa nods.
[Jesa] Ultimately, this decision falls to the Nemni. Nemnu Herself will of course weigh in, in Her way, but She will feign disinterest.
[Ifa] Right.
[Jesa] Well, then. If there is nothing else, I will get back to my prayers.
[Ifa] Thanks, Jesa. I really do appreciate your guidance.
* Jesa smiles and stands.
[Jesa] You are doing a superior job, Ifa. Your work here is noticed and appreciated.
* Ifa smiles.
[NemnostiGM] Until next we gather by the firelight, young acolytes!

Solos

Kuspir talks to Ifa after her quarrel with Hojon, and they discuss their feelings

* Kuspir will go find Ifa, probably the next day after his dinner with Ajemika and Regivus
* Ifa is overseeing some bubunne in the course of normal chores around the ulajeta.
* Ifa will smile when she sees Kuspir.
[Kuspir] Hello
[Ifa] (It's possible she still has the split lip from Hojon. Not sure how long after this is.)
[Kuspir] (I'm guessing it's only a few days most likely?)
[Ifa] Hey. What're you up to?
[Kuspir] I just wanted to see you. Are you all right?
* Kuspir asks, looking at your injured lip
[Ifa] I'm fine. Troubled, but fine.
[Kuspir] I know the feeling.
[Ifa] Everything okay? Anything I can do?
[Kuspir] oh, it's the same thing that's troubling you, I suspect.
* Ifa nods.
[Ifa] I am *really* hoping I did the right thing.
[Kuspir] I can't believe he struck you.
[Ifa] He's not well.
[Kuspir] It's best that I wasn't there, I would have ... it would have been difficult for me to restrain myself.
[Kuspir] I'm sure it would only have made things worse, though.
* Kuspir says in a moment of surprising fervor
* Ifa smiles, stepping forward and lightly touching Kuspir's arm.
[Ifa] I appreciate the sentiment.
[Ifa] It think it happened...about as well as it was going to.
[Kuspir] Someone needed to say something, and I'm glad you did.
[Ifa] I feel bad. I know this makes things impossible for Ajemika, but I don't think we can afford to equivocate over this at this point.
[Kuspir] Ajemika knows this too - she is in a hard position, but I think she has realized that now there is only one reasonable path forward.
* Ifa nods.
[Kuspir] She wanted me to make sure you didn't want the position yourself, and that you didn't have any other plans.
[Kuspir] I didn't think you did, but I told her I would check even so.
* Ifa stops herself after a quick bark of laughter.
[Ifa] No, no, I'm here to serve, not to lead.
[Ifa] I wouldn't be able to be a Hand anymore, and if I haven't been willing to stop for...other things, I'm not going to stop for this when there's better suited people already available.
[Kuspir] That was what I thought.
* Ifa looks wistful for a moment, then shakes her head.
[Ifa] I can understand Ajemika's concern, but I do truly think she's the right person for the role.
* Kuspir nods
[Kuspir] Do you think you'll be at any other risk if this proceeds?
[Kuspir] Retaliation or anything like that?
[Ifa] From who? Hojon?
[Kuspir] Or people who support him, or just who think you stepped out of line.
[Ifa] Do you think I should be? I'm not sure I had considered it being that...acrimonious beyond Hojon.
[Kuspir] I don't know. It's not that I've heard anything in particular, I just worry about you.
[Ifa] That's very sweet.
[Ifa] I mean, I worry about you, too. And everyone, of course. Hence, well, this whole mess.
* Kuspir smiles slightly
[Kuspir] If we cared less, things would be much easier in some ways, wouldn't they?
* Ifa gives a somewhat confused smile.
[Ifa] How do you mean?
* Kuspir considers that for a moment
[Kuspir] If we could act in ways that might be good for ourselves, but not for other people. If we were more selfish or less concerned about what other people feel. I don't mean it would be better - probably it wouldn't - but it might be... enjoyable, for a moment or two.
[Ifa] Kuspir...
[Ifa] (How public a setting are you thinking they're in right now?)
[Kuspir] (well, I was guessing since you said Ifa was doing work supervising bubunne maybe like in a garden or workshop space? so semi-public at the least, although I imagine not many other people immediately nearby)
* Ifa stares as Kuspir for a long moment, looking as though she's about to take another step forward, then looks around and blushes.
[Ifa] I...know the feeling.
* Ifa studiously avoids meeting Kuspir's gaze for the moment.
* Kuspir puts his hand up, very carefully, to Ifa's face, and touches the wounded spot on her lip. His hands are rough but he's trying very, very hard to be gentle.
[Kuspir] Does this hurt?
[Ifa] No...
* Ifa says, now meeting Kuspir's gaze intently.
[Kuspir] Good.
[Kuspir] I would hate to hurt you.
* Kuspir pulls his hand back, as if having second thoughts, but looks very torn.
* Ifa takes hold of his hand.
[Ifa] I don't believe you would hurt me.
[Kuspir] Ifa...
[Kuspir] I want you so much that it feels wrong just to think about.
[Ifa] ...
[Ifa] There is part of me that wants to deny I feel the same, but it's harder and harder to listen to.
[Kuspir] If you want to forget I said anything, go back to how things were before - I will never mention it again. I just had to say something.
[Ifa] No, it's...it's good. I'm glad you said something. I've been feeling, well, so much, and trying to deny it.
[Ifa] Maybe...maybe we can talk about this later? In a less, um, public venue?
* Kuspir nods
[Kuspir] Whatever you want.
* Ifa smirks at that.
[Ifa] Careful what you promise.
* Kuspir smiles, quick and bright, like you probably haven't seen him smile since before Zurusha died

Ifa and Kuspir meet up later at Kuspir’s place; they talk, and then move into action

[Kuspir] (where would you like to talk later? Kuspir will basically go with whatever you prefer as far as time/place)
[Ifa] (Trying to think where would be good.)
* Ifa will head over to Kuspir's house later in the day, nervous this time despite it not being unusual for her to stop in.
* Ifa knocks, then feels immediately weird.
* Kuspir answers, smiling to see you there, but also looking a bit nervous
[Ifa] Hi.
* Ifa smiles back reflexively.
[Kuspir] Hello...
* Kuspir steps aside for you to come in
* Ifa steps inside, very conscious of how close Kuspir is as she does so.
[Ifa] Are the kids...?
[Kuspir] With their grandparents. I think Irdomila considers it rather embarrassing to stay at her father's house these days when she could be with the rest of the Nemni, and Rugu is just happy to be with more of his friends.
[Ifa] Irdomila thinks she's a grown up already, I think.
[Kuspir] Yes. I suppose she almost is.
* Ifa is silent for a likely somewhat awkward amount of time.
[Kuspir] Well, uh, do you want anything? A drink, maybe?
* Kuspir says, to fill the silence after a moment
[Ifa] Oh, yes, uh, that would be nice.
* Kuspir will get some of that ice wine that Regivus brought over the other night
* Kuspir pours some for each of us
[Ifa] Oh, fancy. When did you pick this up?
[Kuspir] Regivus brought it to dinner as a gift. We had some, but there was still a bit left, so I thought we could finish it.
[Kuspir] It's very sweet, I can't drink too much of it or I'll feel terrible the next day.
* Ifa smiles.
[Ifa] Well, we wouldn't want that.
[Ifa] We can be sure to be careful.
* Ifa takes a sip.
[Kuspir] how is it?
[Ifa] It's good. Sweet, like you said.
[Ifa] Kuspir, I...fuck, I don't know how to do this. Or what this is.
[Ifa] I do know I'm happy you said something.
* Kuspir lets out a sigh and nods
[Kuspir] I don't know either. I just... couldn't keep going on without saying anything.
[Ifa] I've wanted to say the same for...a long time.
[Ifa] I've...wanted you, for a long time.
* Kuspir seems slightly surprised at that
[Kuspir] I thought it was just me. I didn't say anything for a long time because I was sure you wouldn't feel the same, and you would probably think I was terrible for even having such a though.
[Kuspir] (thought)
[Ifa] No, I, well, sometimes I feel terrible when I have that thought.
[Ifa] I thought, sometimes, I hoped you felt the same, but that thought *also* felt wrong.
* Kuspir nods
[Ifa] It's not...I don't want to take you away from...anyone.
[Kuspir] Ifa... I have to say this, I think. I still love Zurusha - I will never stop loving her. I can't.
* Ifa nods.
[Kuspir] And for a while I tried to convince myself that I only had these feelings for you because you reminded me of her. Or because I couldn't have her and you were here, where I could see you every day.
[Kuspir] I don't think that's true, though.
* Ifa looks thoughtful.
[Ifa] If I keep apologizing for every sentence, I'll never get through this, so please bear with me.
* Kuspir nods
[Ifa] But, if Zurusha were able to be here, I wouldn't be, if that makes sense.
[Ifa] I love my sister, and I wasn't, well, I wasn't harboring some younger sister jealous crush or something.
[Ifa] But, these last few months, with everything going on, working more closely with you...
[Ifa] You're a good man. You make me feel safe.
* Ifa smirks.
[Ifa] And, of course, you *are* very handsome.
* Kuspir looks bemused but smiles at that
[Kuspir] I don't know what would have happened if Zurusha were still here. I want to think I wouldn't have strayed from her. I loved her - love her - so much. I never wanted to be with anyone else. But you are so courageous, and sincere, and kind, and beautiful. I spend time with you and feel lighter - as if someone else shares my burdens and so they are easier to bear.
* Ifa smiles.
[Ifa] I definitely don't want to add to them.
[Kuspir] So, there are two things. I can't leave Zurusha. I can't give you... I don't know. A family, a home, a public acknowledgement of our feelings, all of that. I don't know if you would even want those things.
[Kuspir] But I also can't... uh. This will sound crude, I'm sorry.
[Kuspir] I can't just fuck you. I care about you too much for that.
* Ifa can't help chuckling a little at that.
[Kuspir] And if that makes all of this too complicated and impossible to deal with, then ... I'll go back to how things were. I can compose myself and act properly around you.
[Ifa] I know you can. Could. And I'd do the same. I don't want to cause trouble for you or hurt you in some manner.
[Ifa] I am happy as a Hand. I knew a family and all that comes with it were an option, but only by giving that up. I don't need that, in that way.
[Ifa] And I'm not some dainty flower. I've had relationships before, and times that weren't, and I don't want to just fuck you, either. I...want to make you feel better. Help lessen your burdens, like you said.
[Kuspir] Will it make you feel better too?
* Ifa can't help but grin.
[Ifa] I'd like to imagine so.
* Kuspir blushes at that
[Kuspir] I meant... I mean. Not like that.
[Kuspir] I don't want to add to your troubles, or have you wind up feeling guilty, or have other people gossip about you.
[Ifa] I don't know that there's any way to predict any of that, but...I can handle whatever comes.
[Ifa] I also don't want you to feel guilty, or any of the rest.
[Kuspir] I already do. I mean... I don't know any way not to. I feel guilty for doing this to her, for being selfish and wanting her back so badly that I inflicted this on her instead. But... I also feel like, am I going to live the rest of my life in this house, alone? If punishing myself would make her come back, she would already be here.
* Ifa will reach over and place a hand on Kuspir's.
[Ifa] I don't think she wants you to stop living your life. I'm not saying that for...whatever this is, just, you deserve happiness. Solace, at least.
[Kuspir] She wanted me to leave her. I mean, when it first happened... she said I should just divorce her and move on. I couldn't bring myself to do that.
* Kuspir frowns, trying to think of the right words
* Ifa squeezes his hand, attempting to be reassuring.
[Kuspir] I insisted for so long, in the face of many people telling me to move on, that I was fine, that I didn't want to, I couldn't be with anyone else... Now it feels like - am I weak, if I give in?
[Kuspir] Stoneguard training - makes me bad at surrendering.
* Kuspir says a bit ruefully
* Ifa smiles.
[Ifa] I think it might also be a you thing.
[Ifa] ;)
[Kuspir] Maybe so.
* Kuspir finishes his drink
[Ifa] I don't want to push. If you don't want to do anything, Kuspir, I am still here and I care about you, very much.
[Ifa] But I am also here if you do want...
[Kuspir] I do want... very much. Will you stay with me tonight, Ifa?
* Kuspir asks quietly
* Ifa nods, taking Kuspir's hand in hers.
* Kuspir cautiously draws you closer and kisses you.