Homoventures Chapter 4, Epilogue part 2
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Summary
Xan visits home, and talks first to Arek, then to his other parents, about Anxikaril. Arek confronts Sanadhil about it, who eventually contributes a little more to the story.
Log
- Session date: December 31, 2014
- Diablotin date: Spring 2275
* Xandhil will catch his dad sometime while the other two are at work
* Arek is doing some cleaning up in the kitchen, let's say
<Arek> (how long have you and J been back, do you think?)
<Xandhil> (maybe a day or two?)
<Xandhil> hey dad
* Xandhil makes some tea
<Arek> (okay)
* Arek smiles, putting some clean dishes back in the cupboard
<Arek> I see how it is, coming in to make more dirty mugs after I've just washed them ;)
<Xandhil> you'll never notice one more tea much
<Xandhil> (mug)
<Xandhil> would you like some?
<Arek> Sure, that would be nice.
<Arek> How are you settling in to being back?
<Xandhil> still decompressing
<Xandhil> it's always a little weird after being away
* Arek nods
<Xandhil> it's like - getting used to the familiar?
<Xandhil> I don't know
<Arek> I'm sure you're still getting caught up with everyone
* Xandhil nods
<Arek> Solange must have been happy to see you :)
<Xandhil> we had Mercy over yesterday
<Xandhil> yes :)
<Xandhil> (I can't remember if this would be post or pre Sirris o_O)
<Arek> (pre- or post- what about Sirris?)
<Arek> (talking to him when you get back?)
<Xandhil> (yeah)
<Arek> (I just checked and we didn't specific a date for that, but we did say you would set up a time - so it sounds like longer than a day or two?)
<Arek> (if you had to send a card, get a reply, etc.)
<Xandhil> (okay)
<Xandhil> (thank makes sense. I was sgill looking for the log :p)
<Arek> (if you'd rather have this be after that talk, of course that's fine too :)
<Xandhil> (no that's fine)
<Xandhil> I think we're goign to get over to try and see sirris too, in the next few days
* Arek nods
<Xandhil> but,uh
<Xandhil> there's some stuff i wanted to talk to you about?
<Arek> oh?
<Arek> is everything okay?
<Xandhil> yes.
<Xandhil> Everything is fine
<Xandhil> It does seem liek every time I take one of these trips the world turns out a little more complicated, though, doesn't it?
* Xandhil sips his tea
<Arek> is it the world becoming more complicated, or you realizing that, though?
<Xandhil> mmmm
<Xandhil> both, in this case
* Xandhil says with certainty
<Xandhil> though maybe it isn't the whole world that's complicated, just my parts of it.
<Arek> well... do you want to sit somewhere more comfortable while you tell me about it?
<Xandhil> sure
* Arek will go with you to the sitting room, then, where there are comfy chairs and lots of bookshelves
<Arek> (we should make a diagram/layout of their house someday ;)
* Xandhil settles into his favourite chair
<Arek> (because I have no idea what all my options are, but that seems like a safe guess ;)
<Xandhil> (yeah )
<Xandhil> so, we gave you the short version already, right?
* Xandhil says havign lost track a little bit already
<Arek> yes, about the tomb, and the djinn
<Arek> (I say vaguely, assuming that would be in the short version ;)
<Xandhil> did we get through the 'where the djinn come from' part?
<Arek> no, but given that you want to talk to me about it, I can make a guess...
<Xandhil> yeah.
<Arek> it can't be all of them... just one? or a few?
<Xandhil> no
<Xandhil> just the four, as far as I know
<Xandhil> three of them went back with Kavreshar...
* Xandhil pauses
* Arek nods, listening
<Xandhil> the other ones decided to stay a djinn
<Xandhil> to see if he could find others
* Arek lets out a breath
<Arek> I thought you were going to tell me he chose to die.
<Xandhil> no!
<Xandhil> definitely not.
<Xandhil> he came and visited me and Justen, the next night
<Arek> he did?
* Xandhil sips his tea
<Xandhil> yes
<Xandhil> he gave us wishes, as thanks for releasing them
<Arek> oh :o
<Arek> ... should I ask what you asked for?
<Xandhil> yeah
<Xandhil> heh
<Xandhil> they're pretty cool, actually
<Xandhil> Justen asked that we would be able to talk to each other telepathically, like you and father can
<Xandhil> just with each other though
* Arek smiles at that
<Xandhil> I wished that we'd both be able to understand and communicated in any language
<Arek> it may come back to bite you, but it's useful too
<Arek> That sounds very like you.
<Xandhil> yes, well
<Xandhil> it's useful!
* Arek nods
<Arek> I'm sure it will be
<Xandhil> Justen siad he already foudnit easier to read
<Xandhil> anyway
<Xandhil> we talked about a lot of other stuff too
<Xandhil> why they were there, why they'd sided with orelius, what happened with Nizar - the black Djinn
<Xandhil> I told him about you
<Xandhil> I thought you might want to talk to each other sometime?
<Arek> ... I... yes, I'd be willing to talk to him.
<Xandhil> well, I didn't make any promises
* Arek nods
<Xandhil> on your account
<Xandhil> I did say he'd be welcome to come and see me and Justen again
<Arek> of course
<Arek> thank you.
<Arek> I... would like to meet him.
* Xandhil nod
<Xandhil> it hought you might
<Xandhil> he said he didn't remember you, anyway
<Xandhil> I don't know his name then, though kavreshar gave it back to him
<Xandhil> he goes by Epher now
<Arek> there's no reason why he would...
* Xandhil nods
<Xandhil> well, I had to ask >.>
<Arek> I know
<Arek> I might know him, though.
* Xandhil nods
<Xandhil> well.... if you do.... be careful with hus name?
* Arek nods
<Xandhil> there's another thing too, but this one is about Father
<Arek> oh, really?
<Xandhil> yeah....
<Xandhil> I'm hoping you'll have a better idea what to do
<Arek> all right... what is it?
<Xandhil> so
<Xandhil> I mentioned Karala - she's some kind of caster
<Xandhil> or priest, maybe, I'm not sure
* Arek nods
<Xandhil> when we first met her, she said she'd had a.... not a vision, I suppose
<Xandhil> but a oracle of some kind, for us
<Xandhil> that we would both meet someone in our family
<Arek> good, or bad?
<Arek> ah...
<Xandhil> so
<Xandhil> I mentioned we met an elf, right?
<Arek> yes... oh :o
<Xandhil> (I am assuming Xan didn't use the name or San woudl have been... touchy since then, but I also don't see why he woudlnt' have?)
<Xandhil> I really think he's my grandfather
<Xandhil> but - I don't know, really
<Arek> (so... you think he did use it, or didn't? just trying to decide how Arek should react)
<Xandhil> (I think he probably did, or if he didn't, justen probably did?)
<Arek> (okay)
<Arek> (but Arek probably doesn't know the name? just that San has been acting off since then?)
<Xandhil> (yeah. I don't thik he even know that San knows his father's name :p)
<Arek> (*nod*)
<Arek> He could be. I don't know.
<Arek> It's not something your Father has ever wanted to talk about very much...
<Xandhil> yeah
<Xandhil> I know he - Anxikaril, I mean - he had a human lover who was pregnant with his kid, anyway
<Arek> ... he's been a bit unsettled since yesterday, though.
<Xandhil> hmm.
* Xandhil is on very unfamiliar family territory
<Arek> I don't know if it's related at all. he hasn't wanted to talk about it - he says everything's fine. of course.
<Xandhil> yeah well.
* Xandhil says, because that is more familiar territory
<Xandhil> it could be anything or nothing then
<Arek> it could be
<Xandhil> what do you think?
<Xandhil> Should I talk to him about it?
* Arek sips his tea, thinking for a moment
<Xandhil> and what should I say>
<Arek> Would you rather I talk to him first?
<Xandhil> ...
<Xandhil> woudl that be better?
<Arek> better for who? >.>
<Xandhil> I've never talked to him about where he came from, really...
<Xandhil> >.>
<Xandhil> should I just not say anything?
<Xandhil> I don't know why he doens't talk about it
<Xandhil> I though... maybe... you would have a better idea
<Arek> it might be better for you if you aren't the one to bring it up - I'm willing to take whatever comes out. I don't know what that will be. It might be nothing. It might be ... it might be something he's very angry about, and can't share.
* Xandhil says as if he woudl not be surprised if you did not
<Xandhil> oh.
<Arek> I don't think he would take that out on you.
* Arek clarifies
<Xandhil> I dn't even know if it's true, though, I think it is
<Arek> if it is something that's bothering him, I mean - I don't think he would be angry at you for bringing it up. he might just not want to say anything.
<Arek> you know how he deals with things he's upset about...
<Xandhil> :|
<Arek> it's hard for him to talk about it
<Arek> I don't want to ... to betray his confidence, but it's not something he has told me a great deal about either. his past, or his childhood, or what if anything he knows about his family.
<Xandhil> well
<Xandhil> if he's tod you anything maybe you should?
<Arek> should talk to him about it?
<Xandhil> yeah
<Xandhil> I can tell you what Anxikaril told me or... I don't know
<Xandhil> he can come talk to me when he's ready?
* Xandhil tries not to sound hurt or disappointed even if he is, a little
<Arek> Well...
<Arek> :/
<Xandhil> (sec - fire and food)
<Arek> can you tell me what makes you think he's your grandfather? beyond the seer saying you'd meet a relative, or the coicidence of him having had a human lover who had a child.
<Xandhil> I don't know
* Xandhil sighs
<Xandhil> he doens't know what happened to her - his.... girlfriend, I guess
<Xandhil> she got send away and he was locked up,a dnthen just spent, like, years and years trying to find her or the child
<Xandhil> so - he's really subborn? :p
<Xandhil> (stubborn)
<Arek> heh
<Xandhil> they didn't really look alike a lot
<Xandhil> maybe its not wirth upsetting him for nothing
<Arek> he already is upset.
<Arek> about something, anyway.
<Xandhil> right
<Arek> ... do you want this to be true? is it something that would... would mean something to you?
<Arek> I know you don't have a lot of ... extended family.
<Xandhil> ...yes.
<Xandhil> and Em...
<Xandhil> I know she would care
* Arek nods
<Xandhil> And Taz...
<Xandhil> Rhylll.... I thik he gets enough out of Mom's side, maybe?
<Xandhil> who knows about Dez :p
* Arek nods
<Arek> I don't know if it's something we can ever know for certain. How we could confirm or deny it... but maybe there's a way.
* Xandhil nods
<Xandhil> well
<Xandhil> I can think of ways but they are ways father would never agree to
<Arek> yes...
<Xandhil> anywah.
<Arek> I'm sorry.
<Xandhil> its okay
<Arek> But I will talk to him.
<Xandhil> I knew it was going to be complicated
<Xandhil> thanks, dad
<Arek> and maybe it will take some time for him to come around - he isn't always fast at things like this
* Xandhil nods
<Xandhil> well
<Xandhil> they have time, at least
<Arek> yes
<Arek> do you know a way to get in touch with him again?
<Xandhil> yes
<Arek> all right
<Arek> and... even if this is something your father isn't prepared to deal with, it doesn't have to affect what you choose to do.
<Xandhil> I know
<Xandhil> but I know what he can be like about that sort of thing too
* Arek nods
* Xandhil sighs
<Xandhil> well
<Arek> he loves you, Xan. he loves his family.
<Arek> he's worked hard for it.
<Arek> having things that ... that he worries might disrupt that, are hard for him.
<Xandhil> I know
<Arek> I think ... ultimately, I think he will want to look into it.
<Arek> it might take time
<Arek> but his curiosity will get the better of him.
* Arek predicts
<Xandhil> okay
<Arek> in the meanwhile, your mother and I will deal with any... repercussions.
* Arek stands up to give you a hug
* Xandhil hugs back
* Xandhil looks at you thoughtfully though
<Xandhil> thanks, dad
<Arek> you're welcome
* Arek will pick a time to approach Sanadhil later than evening, with some tea and biscuits, in private
* Sanadhil is at his desk in the library, maybe reading, maybe writing, maybe just thinkng/fidgeting
<Arek> I brought some tea, and those jam biscuits
* Sanadhil glances up and gives you a quick distrcted smile, perhaps assuming (indicating?) you are just going to (should?) leave them
<Sanadhil> thank you.
* Arek sets them down, but doesn't leave
<Arek> Can we talk?
<Sanadhil> hmm?
<Sanadhil> Well.
* Sanadhil looks at the pile of....whatever... in front of him
* Sanadhil looks up at you, probaby tryong to decide if he can reasonably put you off >.>
* Arek looks a bit worried, and a bit stubborn.
<Sanadhil> what about?
<Arek> Xan came by this morning, with some questions about things he came across on his trip.
<Sanadhil> Questions for you?
<Sanadhil> about the Djinn?
* Sanadhil guesses
<Arek> Yes, in part.
<Arek> Also questions about you. About your... your background.
* Arek doesn't say 'family'
<Sanadhil> what questions?
* Sanadhil asks slowly after a long moment of no respose
<Arek> Can I sit down? I'll try to explain.
<Sanadhil> ...
<Sanadhil> all right.
* Arek will sit, then
<Arek> Xan told me that he and Justen received a ... a prophecy, I suppose - an augury? I don't know technically what it was. From the seer they met on their travels.
<Arek> She told them that they would both encounter members of their family on this trip.
<Arek> Now, it could mean that Kavreshar is a member of both of their families... technically speaking.
<Arek> But... Xan thinks that the elf who helped them in their expedition... may be related to you.
* Sanadhil waits for you to say it.
<Sanadhil> that seems unlikley
* Sanadhil says calmly
<Arek> I know there are a lot of elves in the world, and the odds must be very low.
<Sanadhil> (oh darn, the ages, tha's what i was missing >.>)
<Arek> (we can assume Xan added that to his evidence if you want?)
<Sanadhil> (yeah)
<Arek> ('kk)
<Arek> (~50 years ago?)
<Arek> (that's right, right?)
<Sanadhil> (yeah)
<Arek> He said that, in speaking to this, ah, Anxikaril... that he spoke of a human girl who was his lover, and had a child, about fifty years ago. That he had looked for them for many years.
* Sanadhil looks down at the pen in his hands
* Sanadhil looks back up
<Sanadhil> and that's all?
<Arek> He said that he didn't see a great resemblance between you physically. But he felt there were some things similar in .. temperament, perhaps.
<Sanadhil> I'm surprised that Xandhìl would cling to something so spurrious
<Arek> It wasn't that alone - a combination of factors
<Arek> he didn't say that he was certain
<Arek> but... I think for him... he wishes that it was true.
<Sanadhil> This elf must have made an impression.
<Arek> I think he did.
<Sanadhil> is that all?
<Arek> is it all you want to say for now?
* Sanadhil gives you a slightly detached enquiring look
<Arek> ... I can tell something has been bothering you since Xan got back. If it's something unrelated, let me know that.
<Sanadhil> Just considering the implications of his new findings
<Arek> ah.
* Sanadhil is so callllm! so calm! calm like the quiet ocean!
* Arek knows you better than to think that's a good thing ;p
<Sanadhil> (so much bluff it comes back out the other side :V)
<Arek> He does find out so much on his trips, doesn't he.
<Arek> I'm very proud of him :3
<Sanadhil> yes
<Sanadhil> As am I...
* Arek smiles slightly at that
* Arek stands, crosses over to your desk, and gives you a kiss.
* Sanadhil actually leans back away from you
<Arek> ... I'm sorry.
<Arek> I was just going to go and let you get back to work.
* Sanadhil just nods
<Arek> don't forget to drink your tea before it gets cold.
* Sanadhil tries a concilliatory smile but it just looks... fragile
* Arek is prepared to give you space until that night.. or the next.. or whatever it takes.
<Sanadhil> (what about dozilva? >.>)
<Arek> (well, he will talk to her and explain what's up)
<Sanadhil> (fair)
* Sanadhil is not as young as he used to be, and the stress and lack of proper rest take their toll more quickly
<Arek> (did you want to have her talk to San about it too? or wait and talk more to Arek after he's had more time to process?)
<Arek> (i.e. who do you think he's more likely to eventually spill to ;)
<Sanadhil> (I think in this case Arek)
<Arek> (okay)
<Arek> (well, should Arek try to talk to him again in a day or two? or longer?)
<Sanadhil> (maybe 3-4 days? I am trying to decide if San will come to him)
<Arek> (okay)
<Sanadhil> ( think I'll have San come to him)
<Arek> (okay, sounds good)
<Sanadhil> (san will basically be scarce and isolated, and then Arek will go to go to bed and find him curled up in his bed, I think)
<Arek> (aww, okay)
* Arek comes in, sees San there, and starts getting undressed as usual.
<Arek> room for me in there?
* Arek asks quietly
<Sanadhil> :yes:
* Arek will come to lie beside you, being the big spoon around your curled up miserable little spoon
<Arek> :I'm here:
* Sanadhil is a mess of fear and hurt and confusion and anger
<Arek> :Let me help:
* Sanadhil leans against you
<Sanadhil> :I don't want this:
<Arek> :these feelings?:
<Sanadhil> :these feelings... this mess:
<Arek> :I'm sorry that it feels like this:
<Arek> :I can try to help push it away for a while, but I can't make it go away forever:
<Sanadhil> :Why did it have to be *him*:
<Arek> :I don't know:
<Arek> :are you sure it's him?:
<Sanadhil> :yes:
* Arek holds you closer
<Sanadhil> :I saw him:
<Sanadhil> :in the arch:
<Arek> :...oh:
<Sanadhil> (bee tee dubs :V)
<Arek> :what did you see?:
<Sanadhil> :he met with a woman, in a cave by a waterfall. I knew his name.
<Sanadhil> :later, she was alone, in the mountains
<Sanadhil> :She was whipped
<Sanadhil> :sent away
<Sanadhil> :she found a village.... but she died.
* Arek sends sympathetic feels, rather than a verbal reply as such, just listening
<Sanadhil> :it showed be that. I dont know why.
<Arek> :I don't know. maybe because it meant something - or because it would mean something to you someday. I don't know, love.:
* Sanadhil just presses up closer
<Arek> :maybe to start to prepare you for today:
* Arek guesses
* Sanadhil doesn't answer
<Arek> :Xan told me a little more - I think he has more still he could say, but I wanted to let you hear that from him, if you decided you wanted to. but I can tell you what he told me, at least. if you want.:
<Sanadhil> :I saw her die, Arek
<Sanadhil> :and...
<Sanadhil> :I went there, to the place were they met
<Sanadhil> :he abandoned that family too
<Sanadhil> :I don't want him in my life, or in Xan's
<Arek> :Xan said ... he was locked up. I don't know what that means exactly.:
<Arek> :But there might be reasons why he didn't return there. I don't know. You don't know either.:
<Sanadhil> :I know that they needed him.
<Sanadhil> :And he wasn't there.
* Sanadhil is so tense
* Arek nods
<Arek> :You have every right to be angry and upset.
<Arek> :But you can't hold that forever. You can't swallow that knife.
* Arek says, echoing things you've said to him before
<Sanadhil> (I totally dom't remember @_@)
<Arek> (it was... when Arek was upset that you weren't upset at him, re. Ephrimel. and San said something like... that if he got angry, he wouldn't be able to let go of it. like swallowing a knife.)
<Arek> (found it!)
<Arek>
<Sanadhil> You want me to be angry?
<Arek>
<Arek> ... I'd understand that.
<Arek>
<Arek> I deserve it.
<Arek>
<Sanadhil> If I'm angry, I can't let it go
<Arek>
<Sanadhil> Like swallowing a knife
<Sanadhil> (I also just found it)
<Sanadhil> :It is far, far too late for that
<Arek> :I don't want to tell you what is right to do, or not to do... it's your life, and your choice. But you can't tell Xan what choices to make for himself, either.
<Arek> :And he wants to know his grandfather. he wants to know something about where his family comes from. I can't give him that.
<Sanadhil> :His family comes from us.
<Arek> :yes
<Arek> :he knows that
* Arek assures you
<Sanadhil> :I'll tell him he's wriong
* Sanadhil knows you are not goign to let him just lie to Xan though >.>
<Arek> :that would be ... one solution. but that might just pass on the knife to him, I think.
<Sanadhil> :I could make him stay away from us.
<Arek> :I'm sure you could. Maybe even just by asking him.
<Arek> :But again - you can't decide that for Xan, for the kids.
<Sanadhil> :I can.
<Arek> :yes. I know you can.
<Arek> :would it help?
<Sanadhil> :yes.
* Sanadhil seethes, but there is some doubt there
<Arek> :unless you're also going to make Xan forget, and Justen...
* Sanadhil doesn't reply, because of course he isn't going to do that...
<Arek> :I know you want to... to protect us.
<Arek> :but trying to erase this isn't the way to do that
<Sanadhil> I want to earse it from me
<Arek> :that I could make this better, somehow. all I can do is be here for you, and try to help you
* Sanadhil just turns ove and presses up even coser
<Arek> :you won't lose us. nothing can change that
<Arek> :we are your family, and we love you
* Sanadhil nods
