View source for Hayley & Janus, Lolita, 5/14/2005

* Hayley skips into Janus' study and leans against his desk.
<Hayley> What are you doing?
* Hayley reads upside-down from his book.
<Janus> Hmmm?
<Janus> (it's all in runic script stuff)
* Hayley doesn't read from his book then.
* Janus looks up, distracted.
* Janus realizes he left the door open, which he doesn't usually do...
<Hayley> If bubble gum still existed, this is where I'd blow a bubble and pop it right in your face, hmmm?
<Hayley> That Lolita book is interesting.
<Janus> It is?
<Janus> What?
* Janus blanches.
* Hayley smirks.
<Janus> . o O (I thought I put that away!)
<Hayley> (only to a higher shelf!  ;^)  )
<Janus> (I know... :o)
<Hayley> (teehee)
<Janus> (Janus keeps not thinking of the fact that she has so much wayfare.)
<Hayley> I like to think I'm not so... annoying, though.
<Hayley> I'm not, am I?
<Janus> Not especially...
* Janus looks down at the book, twirling his quill a bit nervously.
* Hayley laughs musically.
<Hayley> Good.
* Hayley comes around to Janus side of the table and leans on his chair to look at his book.
<Hayley> You can read that?
<Janus> Certainly.g
* Janus says, a tiny bit proud.
<Hayley> Fascinating.
<Hayley> It makes my eyes water.
<Hayley> And looks like a bunch of Tolkien to me.
<Janus> Well, it isn't.
<Janus> (she *is* reminding me of Lolita now! :o)
<Hayley> (she's doing it on purpose.  ;^)  )
* Janus glances over at her to see what she's doing.
<Janus> (ah. Good job, then)
* Hayley slides her eyes sidelong to look at Janus.
<Janus> ...
* Hayley smirks.
<Janus> What?
<Hayley> Do you like my Lolita impression?
<Janus> Oh, Hayley.
* Janus says, slightly exasperated.
<Janus> I ought not to have mentioned it.
<Hayley> Well, now you know for the future.
<Hayley> I'm insatiably curious.
<Janus> . o O (She's still doing it!!)
* Janus sighs, and leans back in his chair.
<Janus> Quite.
* Hayley moves away from Janus slightly so he won't be as uncomfortable around her.
* Hayley raises an eyebrow at his Diamond-ism.
<Hayley> Seriously.
<Hayley> I think it stems from a deep-founded desire to experience new things.  Completely new, that Siobhan, Gwen, Marjolaine, nor Debbie experienced.
<Hayley> Something I can call my own.
<Janus> I see...
* Janus says, not sure how to respond to that.
<Janus> . o O (So... IS she trying to say something about me?)
<Hayley> And I'd never read Vladimir Nobokov before.
* Hayley smiles.
* Hayley seems to not be hiding any deeper meanings in her words there...
<Hayley> So... I guess I should let you get back to whatever you're doing, and go finish Lolita.
<Janus> It's a favourite of mine...
<Janus> But perhaps I shouldn't let that get out.
* Janus smiles a bit.
* Hayley sort of does a double take and grins mischievously.
<Hayley> Yeah, probably a good policy.
<Hayley> People might think you're a pervert or something.
* Hayley winks, quite plainly alluding to her former opinion of him.
<Janus> ... People might.
<Hayley> So... next on my list of things to read is the Kama Sutra.  I'm interested in ancient Hindu texts.
* Hayley says, eyes sparkling with mischief.
<Janus> ...
<Hayley> I'm /kidding/.
* Janus looks back down at his work.
<Janus> OH.
<Janus> I see.
<Hayley> I already sort of know the Kama Sutra, anyway.
<Hayley> Debbie had a passing familiarity with it.
<Janus> You... do..?
<Janus> What?
<Janus> O_o
<Hayley> So.  I /really/ ought to leave you to your studies now, hadn't I?
* Hayley turns to go back out the door.
<Janus> ...
* Janus looks up to watch her go.
* Hayley pauses slightly, as if giving him one more chance to say "Hey, why don't you stay and we can talk?" or something similar.
* Janus leans his chin on a hand, and puffs a piece of hair out of his face.
<Hayley> . o O (Grrrrr.... he won't.)
<Janus> I seem to have lost my concentration...
<Hayley> . o O (Or maybe he will?)
* Hayley half-turns back to him.
<Hayley> Hmmmmmm?
<Janus> Wasn't that your intention?
* Janus arches an eyebrow slightly.
* Hayley puts on an all-innocence "Who, me?" expression.
<Hayley> Naw... I was just seeing how you were doing.
* Hayley lies.
<Janus> Hm.
* Janus rises from his desk, walks over to the couch and sits back down.
<Janus> How are *you* doing?
* Hayley skips happily over to the couch and sits down at the other end from him.
<Hayley> Good.  I'm glad you asked.
<Janus> Just good?
* Janus smiles.
<Janus> . o O (She's so full of life...)
<Janus> (... which I just realized sounds like a mentos commercial... whoops)
* Hayley watches him, waiting expectantly for him to say/ask more.
* Hayley has something of the devil playing about her face as she watches him.
<Hayley> . o O (He's such an oaf.  Why won't he talk?)
* Janus wants very badly to know more about Hayley...
* Hayley kicks her hooves expectantly.
<Janus> . o O (But what can I ask, without making her feel uncomfortable, or bringing up unpleasant memories?)
<Hayley> (now seems a good time to ask.  It's true, when you get down to things, you hardly know her...  ;^)  )
<Janus> So... 
<Hayley> (/HER/ anyway... Debbie you know like the back of your  hand.)
<Janus> When is your birthday?
<Janus> . o O (... Brilliant.)
* Hayley looks pleasantly surprised.
<Janus> . o O (idiot)
<Hayley> September 1.
<Hayley> Yours is January 16, right?
<Janus> . o O (She remembered!)
* Janus nods, pleased.
<Hayley> I'll be fifteen, this year.
* Hayley says, a bit proudly.
<Janus> ...
<Janus> . o O (Fifteen... )
<Hayley> And you'll be...
<Janus> Much older.
* Hayley rolls her eyes upwards as she mentally calculates.
* Janus says, a bit glumly.
<Hayley> One hundred and eighty one!
* Hayley announces.
<Janus> ...
<Janus> ...
<Hayley> It's really not old, as far as Faeries go.
* Janus groans inwardly.
* Hayley says matter-of-factly.
<Hayley> I was several thousand years old before I-
* Hayley flushes a bit.
<Hayley> Died the first time.
<Janus> ...
<Janus> . o O (So much for that bland topic. Now we're *both* depressed.)
* Hayley seems to lose a bit of her joie de vivre with that announcement but tries to regain it quickly; you can see the emotions playing on her face.
<Hayley> So...
* Hayley tries bravely.
<Hayley> Don't you want to know what we were like in the Dawn Times or something?
<Hayley> I don't remember it all, but I can give you a pretty good idea.
<Hayley> Or... I could talk about Arc-
<Hayley> No, that's probably not a good idea.
<Hayley> Too depressing for us both.
* Hayley essays a small smile in Janus' direction.
<Janus> ...
<Janus> Probably for the best.
* Hayley sighs.
<Hayley> It's hard, remembering it all, and looking at the world out here.
<Hayley> You're right.
<Hayley> I wouldn't want to burden you with the knowledge of what we've lost.
<Janus> ...
* Hayley closes her eyes briefly in disgust with herself.
* Janus looks over at the window.
<Hayley> . o O (Dumb, dumb thing to say, Hayley.  Way to go.)
<Hayley> Well... actually, it would be good to talk about those things.  But not now.  
* Hayley sighs again.
<Hayley> It's probably a bit too heavy for a getting-to-know-you kind of conversation...
* Hayley trails off.
* Janus tries to think of a way to change the subject in a way that *won't* end up coming back around to Hayley's past lives...
<Hayley> . o O (But that would all be part of getting to know me, wouldn't it?)
<Janus> I don't want to discuss something that will make you upset.
* Hayley rearranges herself over onto her side, cushioning her head on Janus' outer thigh.
<Hayley> Well... I think it's something I'll have to talk about eventually.
<Hayley> Just to get things sorted out.
<Janus> I know.
<Janus> I am merely being... selfish, I suppose.
* Janus puts a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently.
* Hayley gives Janus a look of mild surprise.
<Hayley> (heheh, yes, it is selfish of him to not want to discuss her past lives / past loves when she really needs to,  but she never expected him to admit it himself...)
* Janus sighs quietly.
* Hayley reaches up and gently squeezes Janus' leg just above the knee.
<Hayley> Well... I certainly didn't mean to drag us both down...
<Janus> (yes... it makes him feel very small, insignificant... but there is also the fact that he doesn't like seeing her sad or in pain, as she often seems to be when these subjects come up...)
<Hayley> I just wanted to talk.  But maybe there's not much I /can/ talk about without bringing along a lot of baggage...
<Janus> We can talk about whatever you like.
<Hayley> Really?
<Janus> Sure.
* Janus steels himself...
<Janus> Sure we can.
* Janus smiles down at her.
<Hayley> All right...
* Hayley tries to think of something to talk about
<Hayley> . o O (Where to begin?)
<Hayley> Maybe... maybe I'll talk about my family.
<Hayley> I know you don't much understand mortals; you had a really different upbringing from me.
<Janus> I did go to school...
* Janus protests.
* Hayley nods.
<Hayley> Yeah, you did, didn't you?
* Hayley smiles.
<Hayley> I'm stupid.
* Janus remembers the time when Debbie and Rhea were going through his stuff and found his old uniforms...
<Hayley> (heehee)
<Janus> Don't say such things...
<Janus> That was a very long time ago.
<Janus> Anyhow, you're right. I don't feel I have much in common with mortals...
* Hayley looks up at Janus and smiles, eyes distant, remembering her family in Australia.
<Hayley> My parents were wonderful, wonderful people.
<Hayley> They knew by the time I was six that I probably would subvert... but they loved me all the more for it.
<Hayley> They got me books of fairy tales and things, which were forbidden... but I loved them so...
<Hayley> I don't know where they managed to find them.
<Hayley> I know my parents were frightened of me, on some level, but they never let it show...
<Hayley> I was just another member of their family.
<Janus> They sound like rather... commendable people.
* Janus says a bit awkwardly.
* Hayley smiles, eyes slightly watery with the intensity of her love for her family.
<Hayley> I had two brothers, as well... Warren was the oldest, and then Daniel.
<Hayley> Mom lost a baby in between having Daniel and I, and then she lost another little girl after me...
<Janus> Oh...
<Hayley> So she figured God was telling her she had her quota.
* Hayley smiles.
* Janus stops himself before making a face at the mention of the G-word.
<Hayley> We weren't rich, and the Church owned our house and our land and our sheep; we were tenant farmers, basically...
<Hayley> We only got to keep the farm as long as we did what the Church wanted...
* Janus frowns.
<Hayley> But Dad made sure we always had lots to eat-
<Hayley> And- we always had Christmas, even in the worst years...
* Hayley seems to be breaking down.
<Hayley> Though I didn't get to celebrate it with my family, after I got sent away to school.
<Janus> ..
<Hayley> They- they always had my Christmas present for me when I got home in summer.
* Janus strokes her hair reassuringly.
<Hayley> And now-
<Hayley> <w> Now they're gone.
<Janus> . o O (and now they're gone... Poor Hayley...)
<Hayley> <w> And there won't be any more O'Learys, because of me.
<Janus> It's not your fault Hayley. 
<Janus> Never believe that.
<Janus> If you believe that, then they win...
* Hayley nods, trying to believe Janus.
<Hayley> <w> The worst part is, they're probably alive still, somewhere...
<Hayley> <w> Little better than slaves for the Church- and, If I try to go find them, I'll only make it worse.
<Janus> They can't get away with this forever.
<Hayley> <w> I'd like to think so...
<Janus> Even humans... even humans will realize what's happening to them, eventually.
<Janus> They have before.
<Janus> Many times.
* Hayley 's torso shakes and she tries not to cry outright, but she's crying inside.
* Janus hates to see her like this...
<Hayley> <w> I love Mom and Dad...  
<Janus> I know...
<Hayley> <w> I love Warren and Daniel...
<Janus> ...
<Janus> . o O (What can I do?)
<Hayley> <w> And I know- know they must still love me... but sometimes I wonder... if maybe the Church has treated them so badly... that maybe they don't love me, anymore...
<Janus> I don't think that's possible.
<Janus> No-one could just stop loving you...
<Janus> . o O (I wish I could find them for you...)
* Hayley nods, trying to take comfort in Janus' words.
* Hayley 's little body shakes, wracked with grief.
<Janus> Oh, Hayley...
* Janus scoops up the little satyr in his arms, cradling her against his chest.
<Janus> I wish I could help them, for you...
* Hayley nods, rubbing her head on his chest (ow, maybe you ought to amputate those horns...)
<Hayley> That's very- very kind of you.
* Hayley says, absurd with grief.
<Janus> . o O (ow)
* Hayley expends her grief in Janus' arms and slowly calms down.
<Hayley> That's what I was doing... in Australia.
<Hayley> Trying to find them...
<Hayley> But I was afraid, of the Hounds, and I wasn't strong for my family, when they were always strong for me.
<Janus> <m> If only you had a picture of them...
* Janus says thoughtfully.
* Hayley says, and lapses into stillness.
* Hayley shakes her head.
<Hayley> We- didn't have a camera.  
<Hayley> And I tried using a Will-o-the-Wisp.
<Hayley> It didn't work.  The priests have too much power.
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