We need butox, poop baby
* Belden: We have a job to do, which does not include flirting with prostitutes.
(Boden) IF YOU MAKE ME CHASE YOU FAR...I'LL HURT YOU MORE!!!
[Kalman] I volunteer not to be linked to Boden, mister I CAN'T NOT YELL IN TELEPATHIC CONTACT ;p
[Boden] Hey, I've been doin' better.
(Esmena) Would you like a drink? Compliments of the house.
Boden) Yes, of course.
- Boden needs to wet his whistle before he wets his whistle.
[Marcelyn] . o O ( kissing girls ain't so bad neither :o )
[Loch] and I take the rod.
[Belden] You sure do Loch... You sure do.'
[Pavo] I've got a part in a play!
[Phorien] Oh yes?
[Phorien] Congratulations :)
[Pavo] Yes, Adrius told me about it...
[Pavo] I got in pretty easy... it's his sister who's putting it on... but I'm excited to be involved anyway.
[Phorien] What is it?
[Phorien] The part, I mean.
[Pavo] It's a bawdy story called My Memory is Bad and the Log Isn't Posted Yet
- Kalman can't help but groin, though this isn't ecxactly the conversation he meant to be having... oh well
(Narrator_) Kalman and Loch, you take the worst of it. You take 3 points of damage each, and you are at -4 AC and -2 attack due to itching, until I let you know otherwise ;)
(Kalman) (yay :p)
(Belden) (MALE ITCH)
- Boden is quite relaxed around these two...after all its Kalmans sister and some guy I've seen get a hand job...
(Boden) (Rob)OOOOHHHH YEAAAH!!!! TAKE THAT YOU IZZAGUIRES CUNT BITCH! BOOOYA!!
- Creature eats cats for breakfast
- Pavo replaced Creature's cats with Folgers Crystals, lets see if he notices.
(Diablotin_Narrator) Pavo, you claw the creature's groin!
- Pavo will go pull grass if there is nothing else. [For burning a demon corpse]
(Pavo) (If I have trouble, I'll use a sickle)
- Pavo barks at a farmdog...
- Kalman looks at Pavo
- Pavo arfs at Kalman too.
(Pavo) Just uh... communing with nature, you know.
(Jolande) Some large men to see you, sir. (Kalman) ... * Kalman blinks (Kalman) How large? (Kalman) Do they have names? (Jolande) Very large, and they didn't say.
(BaronJennie) "To be slutty, or not to be slutty, that is the question" (Elanya) ahh (BaronJennie) The quest for butt prevaled!
[Sanadhil] I met her there on my trip this past fall
[Prof_Storms] Hmm, interesting. A very isolated place, I don't believe I've ever had the chance to meet anyone from Mirithene before.
[Prof_Storms] Well, she must have made quite an impression on you, that you brought her from Mirithene for the wedding :)
- Sanadhil smiles at her
- Dozilva smiles.
[Sanadhil] She is quite charming.
[Dozilva] And we are fucking.
- Dozilva adds helpfully.
[Dozilva] Oh, I'm sorry. That is the impolite term. We are 'sleeping together'.
- Emoune chats cheerfully the rest of the way through dinner, and doesn't embarrass her son tooooo much, apart from maybe some stories about things he did when he was little.
[Guillame] (I will need you to prepare a detailed account of those stories during the next downtime)
[Narrator] :Hungry. Hungryhungryhungryhungryhungryhungry:
[Sanadhil] [sk] Hungry for what?
[Sanadhil] [sk] ...sustenence?
- Sanadhil frowns slightly
- Sanadhil eyes Seth
<Ilphere> San: you failed the will save, you are now gay. Welcome to Diablotin.
<Seth> Most people come for the sex and stay for the evil, but for you it's the other way around, eh?
<Ilphere> more like come for the evil, put up with the sex
<Alma> Aahhhh who am I going to vote for ! D:
<Guillame> Whoever you'd feel better about killing if they're a crap emperor :P
<Sanadhil> "Don't worry - uncle Pavo swang that way."
<Narrator> swang? :o
<Alma> Oh those elves! So funny, those elves.
<Narrator> They talk funny and have funny clothes!
<Alma> Too bad they're all going to BURN IN HELL
<Narrator> it'll be a funny hell
<Boden> D2 gives me an erection.
- Sanadhil forms the 'elven bastards' club
- Sanadhil is president on account of being doubly qualified
<@Ilphere> there's faults like having a mullet or being friends with Seth and then there's faults like being a rapist is all I'm saying
<Vess> gay sex with Seth... how could I resist
<BalthCat> Alma is not having a threesome. <BalthCat> Especially not with some houseless girl and a midget!
<Elanya> I have been looking at gay bondage all afternoon instead of working. (see: Sendhel)
<Elanya> * Loinien hires Sendhel? ;)
<Debbie> And Loinien is probably not a bad nickname for him.
- lan-store is now known as Sendhel
- Etir tacks a 'p' on the end of lan's name
<Sanadhil> I'm saying that her child will have heritage from both aspects of the serpent <Sanadhil> and tits true blood
<@BalthCat> Learn What This Former Tribe Chief Does to Avoid Divination. Almas Hate Him.
<Guillame> It is impious to have too many shenannigans.
<@Guillame> So what do you call that act? The Antiquarians!
<@Alma> I would totally do Loick sometime if you're amenable Julie :)
Diablotin 2.5: Homoventures
<Xandhil> maybe I will go for the ring of mind shielding
<DiablotinNarrator> I'll assume that's from Alma... she probably hoards them<Xandhil> she just buys them up so no one else wioll have them ;p
[Xandhil] (Xan probably shapeshits to get dressed most of the time ;)
<Xandhil> things that are wrong: Homos in Andusk - no items match your search ;p
Mister Cat: How'd she get the air domain, is she stealing from Owl? >:| [referring to Mother Raina]
Mister Cat: oh druid
Xandhil Orecalo: yeah I was gonna say
Mister Cat: maybe that
Xandhil Orecalo: druid
Mister Cat: She's no MOTHER then >:|
Nary R. (GM): she had a kid ;) that's more that you did, BITCH
Xandhil Orecalo: hah
Mister Cat: I have many children. None of which are rats
Nary R. (GM): none of which were squeezed out your ghostly cooch
Mister Cat: Making my motherhood all the purer
<Xandhil> I should tell my father to come here just for the food @_@
<Sotiris> Perhaps it would remind him of his home - he is Cozovode, is that correct?
- Xandhil nods
<Xandhil> Half, anyway
<Sotiris> There are some similarities in the cuisine, I understand, although of course they do not eat meat. But olives, lemons, peppers.... these things are more difficult to grow in Diablotin.
- Xandhil nods
<Xandhil> maybe I can bring him something back :)
<Xandhil> the olives here are delicious
<Sotiris> Perhaps some preserved lemons and olives. They would travel well.
- Xandhil nods
<Xandhil> he would love that
<Xandhil> ("This is why you are the favoured child, Xan")
<Justen> ("all Taz brings us is knocked-up girls")
<@DiablotinNarrator> this dungeon is loaded with treasure they can't take ^-^
<BalthNote> WHY CAN'T THEY
<@DiablotinNarrator> "yup these certainly are a bunch of magic items. leave 'em there, so we can document and photograph them in situ"
<Curtana_desk> Steve did say that every D campaign has to end with one more god than the previous one
<Fishmalk> Can we have Sloth join? I like Sloth.
<Fishmalk> I feel like Sloth would be a god I can get behind.
<Lan-werk> I feel like maybe Sloth was not the best totem to follow when you were fleeing your demon-ravaged homeland in a hurry >.>
<Curtana_desk> it would definitely be a god you could get in front of
<Curtana_desk> Horse, very effective ;)
<Curtana_desk> apparently they actually managed to flee further ;)
<Lan-werk> that's why they made it farther away :V
<@Hettienne> ... SO yeah, I dunno what it was doing.
<@Hettienne> Like ... a snaggle toothed midget elf... thing.
<@Dorien> Hey Geff... who's been down here recently?
<@Geff> By reports, a "creepy little elf".
- @Geff says dryly.
- @Dorien raises an eyebrow
<@Geff> Yeah, I don't know either.
<@Ralf> like, I've had wine plenty o' times, and this is some next level wine.
<@Denise> is that....good?
<@Ralf> shit yes.
<@Ander> It's all good, sweetheart :)
- @Ander pats you affectionately on the shoulder, except misses by about six inches.
<@Denise> You okay boss?
<@Denise> Maybe they gave us some of Dorien's wine ^-^
<@Ander> 'sall good....
- @Denise eyes ralf
<@Ralf> I think I'm gonna go dance
- @Ralf is, let us say, not usually the 'dancing' type, unless it involves knives.
@Dorien> ...fuck this. I don't even really work here.
- @Dorien heads for the stairs
<@DiablotinNarrator> As you head to the stairs, something darts past you and ... stabs you in the leg, or tries to anyway
<@DiablotinNarrator> 1 is the minimum damage, so it's really just like a crappy little scrape on your leg
- @Dorien screams like a schoolgirl.
<@Aubrienne> Uh oh...looks like we might be bringing down the house.
<@Lan-werk> "The headline read 'TITS SAGGING AFTER SHOCKING SHOW', and there was a grainy photograph of the cabaret with its entrance cordoned off, and several city guards milling about."
<@Hettienne> Can't leave you damn kids alone for TWO FUCKING SECONDS.
<Ophira> She started it
<@Hettienne> I don't give a flying shit!
<@Hettienne> You don't fuck with MY work, unless you want me to make you look like a gods damned SAUSAGE
<@Hettienne> not that you need much help
<Hettienne> I lost years off my life in the worst place in the world, an' you're sorry.
<Nycki> Well, a bit. You seem like you made it out okay. Better'n gettin' drafted, huh?
<Hettienne> Are you fucking kidding me?!
<Hettienne> I had to keep a SHIV up my goddamn snatch for YEARS
<Nycki> Hope you remembered to pull it out, baby. You sound a bit touchy.
<Argent> . o O (what in the V' just happened)
<Dorien_Voclain> Field trip? Where to?
- Dorien_Voclain says as he takes a bite of a pastry
<Misery> The Shade. There's something weird I want to show you.
<Dorien_Voclain> ...Define weird.
<Misery> "Adjective: Unexpected, unfamiliar, unsettling."
<Dorien_Voclain> Has anyone ever told you you're a smart ass?
<Hugonel> I just don't understand why she'd kill him, and not me? Not that I'm objecting, mind you.
<@[Zola]> What if she's some sort of... vampire muse... ensnaring brilliant minds and then draining them of their energies ;_;
<Hugonel> Then my question is even more pertinent, don't you think?
<@Hettienne> So why am I here exactly?
<Dorien_Voclain> For the subtle part.
<@Hettienne> I think you can probably manage walking into a parking lot
- @Hettienne eyes him.
<Sylvise> Do you have a *lady friend* visiting, Dorien?
- Sylvise asks with a smile
<Dorien_Voclain> I... yes?
<Sylvise> Well. You can bring her, if you want!
- @Genevriel would facepalm if she could without giving her location away.
<Dorien_Voclain> Oh, I don't know if that would be a great idea...
<Sylvise> Hello there, dear! You don't have to hide, I'm not going to bite.
- Sylvise calls around your shoulder
<Dorien_Voclain> Mom, really... it's not...
<Sylvise> Oh goodness, I'm not as sheltered as all that. You're a grown man, you can have *lady friends* if you like.
<Xandhil> The good news is that it could be a demon -_-
<Aubrienne> That's the *good* news?
<Hugo> What's a good rhyme for 'dodo'?
<[Zola]> ... what? o_O
- Hugo (~Forthrigh@22.214.171.124) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
- Sendhel can talk to the guards there and distract them while you guys proceed in
<Sendhel> ("distract") <Argent> (head can be distracting) <@Diablotin_Narrator> I like that you just said "can be", like maybe not always? <@Diablotin_Narrator> depending on the quality <Argent> (exactly)
[@Denise] although her fishs can be enchanted as natural weapons
<@Zola> I am absolutely nuking those colons
<@Curtana> is that a gay sex thing?
<Curtana_work> if you touch an elf and an SK together, they explode
<malk-work> Now we need to have nuclear elf accelerators where we shoot tiny bits of various elves together at high speeds to create energy.
<Curtana_work> particelf accelerators?
<@BalthCat> Maybe the Jewels launched a man branch
<@BalthCat> Precious Metals
<Forthright> the Man Jewels?
<@Curtana> Cat's idea is clever, yours is horrible
<Zola> Maybe they're twins
<Zola> Brass and Bronze
<Lan-soupthief> twins you say
<Lan-soupthief> red heads perhaps?
<Zola> Man, Alma's face if she found out
<Zola> Just one long sigh
<@Curtana> that is the face
<BalthNote> In D modern liberals aren't going to use the phrase "moral grey area" for fear of seeming racist
<Zola> Also being tight lipped around Shady Shin over there *points to San* is hardly unreasonable :P
<Zola> Shady isn't a race... oh hahaha
<@Curtana> ...huh. that is an error.
<@Curtana> I have Ruchard's profession down as 'princess'.
<@Curtana> I mean unless there's something I don't know about him.
(on Eloi Sallembier)
<Lan-cleaning> I don't think he is necessarity evil
<Lan-cleaning> but if he is just a noraml human with nothing else weird gong on I'll be surprised >.>
<@Curtana> that's fair
<@Curtana> I mean he does have red hair.
<@Curtana> ergo, something weird is going on ;)
<Lan-cleaning> exactly :V
<Lan-cleaning> a RED HAIRING :V
- @Gen secretly hopes for a pothead sorceror who goes by the name Dude Chillmage and buys product from Dorien.
<@Gen> Well 'pothead' - whatever the D3 equivalent is for pot
<@Hugonel> it's pronounced doo-day shillmazh
<@Dorien> The part of Eirini tonight will instead be played by a giant boiler explosion
<@Denise> motor boats are go :V
<@DiablotinNarrator> "driving the napier motor yacht" seems like a good euphemism
<@Denise> all the better for boating accidents
<@DiablotinNarrator> HIGH SPEED boating accidents :D
<@Argent> im sure they are highly reliable :)
<@Hettienne> I don't think there are any boating accidents in this crop
<@Lathra> And tonight's "Person most likely to get fired" award goes to...
<@Hugonel> Still Dorien.
<@DiablotinNarrator> Dorien all "hahah you can't fire me I don't work here!"
<@Hugonel> doesn't matter.
<@Hugonel> Still fired.
<@Gen> Some Psyrenes *are* terrorists.
<@Gen> But then, so are some Aveyronnais.
<@Zola> because you are ginormous
<@Zola> Denise shops at Ladies of Gouge
<@Curtana> someone asked what Serpent services are like for kids and ... I'm scared to think about it.
<@Longpig> suggestive balloon animals
<Lan-flopped> what does a soul really do for you, anyway
<Lan-flopped> I mean
<Lan-flopped> really? :V
<Curtana_desk> it's your star-substance/godfood ;)
<malk-desk> It lets you play jazz.
<Zola> Zola informs everyone that her boobs are fantastic.
- Dorien_Voclain seconds Zola's statement
<Dorien_Voclain> though to be fair, as a scientist, I should do some hands-on testing before I declare the hypothesis sound.
<Zola> Scientist my butt
<Zola> no wait
<Dorien_Voclain> That too
<@[Zola]> What're they talkin' about?
<Denise> your mom
<Aubrienne> Likely not
<Denise> and how she "worships serpent"
<Denise> if you know what I mean
<@[Zola]> I'm pretty sure my father's serpent hasn't been worshipped in more than a decade.
<Dorien_Voclain> Craft (Buttocks) is a skill I feel like most people don't have points in.
<Dorien_Voclain> Alright, Operation Mushroom Penetration is a go!
<[Zola]> Just burn all the trees down, and if you start getting horrible nightmares, you know it's related.
<Argent> I like her plan, except for the risk of burning the city
<[Zola]> <[Zola]> that's what they get for being poor and not building with brick
<@DiablotinNarrator> call it an urban renewal project
<Curtana> one of the most severe shortages they face in the undercity
<Curtana> really Diablotin Heritage Minutes would have like... 1 minute about House Ratte ;)
<Lan-home> They Came Out of the Sewer and are Weird! Moing on...
<Lan-home> to house ox, apparently ;p
<Curtana> 1 minute on The Arch too, though, so don't feel too bad ;)
<Curtana> Soul eating - a part of our heritage
<Fishmalk> "We're having chicken tonight. Is that something you people can eat, or do you only do grey foods?"
<Fishmalk> "Do you keep Shadar-Kosher?"
<@Hettienne> k: history why did I eat so many tootsie rolls
<@DiablotinNarrator> anyone have questions before we get started?
<Hugonel> yeah, just one
<Hugonel> who's the asshole who hates olives?
<@[Zola]> All of us sane people
<@DiablotinNarrator> and this is how the Psyrene War started.
<@Hettienne> FUCK OLIVES AND FUCK PSYRA
<Malqatar> Man, if the rats start a marxist labor uprising, I will be very disappointed if it's not called Rat Rat Revolution.
<Kennesaw> Comratte, I suppose.
<Malqatar> Free the proleteratte!
<Lathra> Noperope is now the name of every grappling hook gun I ever use in future.
<@Hettienne> DEPLOY THE NOPEROPE
<Lathra> "Performers aren't going to cut it here. What we really need is a botanist"
<Aubrienne> ...Is wetting yourself a free action?
<Zola> P. sure
<Dorien> Only if you already had it readied.
<Genevriel> (Do I have reason to be concerned by the 'dark tapestry'?)
<Aubrienne> (Maybe because it's called the 'dark tapestry'?)
<Zola> No one ever says "rent" when something good is happening.
<Hugo> yeah, like 'your rent is overdue'
<Malqatar> Well, at least now if she has a fairie baby she can blame it on him.
<@Debbie> No, she can't.
<@Debbie> There was no sex and will not be any sex with Madds until we are at least 14th level.
<Malqatar> lol, why specifically level 14?
<@Debbie> Because that is when Gen will be able to cast Regenerate.
<Malqatar> mAN, THAT'S SOME SEX IF YOU NEED REGENERATE AFTERWARDS
<@Hettienne> light a scandle for poor Hugo
<@Hettienne> what does hugo use to light his bedroom
<@Hettienne> A SCANDLEABLRA
<Lathra> Not posh enough for a scandalere?
<Curtana_work> Other gods: oh my us, there's a reason we only ever gave this to one person Rat
<Curtana_work> Rat: fuck you I do what I wannnt
Shanked by a fairy
Fine Like This
a RED HAIRING
Hey baby, you wanna come back to the jedquarters?
Operation Mushroom Penetration is a go!
what's a little ass biting between friends
Did St. Ratrick banish all the Serpents from Diablotin?
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS
To the Noperope!
Jonas: no longer totally out of spoons
<[Zola]> FREE SQUEEZE FOR EVACUEEZE
Hugo screams like an empowered lady who don't need no man
you can't be a drunk AND a good bee surgeon
<Hugo> Zola ... my nuts?
tits or gtfo emkathon
Diablotin: If there is room in the heart, there is room in the butt
what would you do for a swan-dyke bar?
Pounded in the butt by myself as a parallel universe snake-lady
House Rat: you cunt as one of us
<@Hettienne> light a scandle for poor Hugo
They'll wash your liver and send you to Suzie!
cocks fall, everyone dies
Imma take them bitches to visit the fist world :V
- Lannie (GM): Alvin will take a shit in the dark
<Ya-Akove> he doesn't like anything!
<Stjepan> that's not truwe
<Stjepan> he likes swords
<Ya-Akove> we could have hot lesbo sex and he would be cranky
<Stjepan> he likes fighting
<Stjepan> he likes Sarcha
<Ya-Akove> well, I guess I could dress up like Sarcha, and Cynara could dress up like a sword, and we could have lesbo sex
<Taharqa> (conflict only brings us closer together)
<Jola> (yeah because most of us don't have reach weapons)
<Jola> you suck cocks in hell Cat :p
<Xavier> I was comfy.
<Shul> this combat is like an allegory for all of exia
<Shul> fumbling for hours on end towards a place we don't even really want to go
Legend of the Five Rings
- @Shiba_Tsukimi takes out the map
- @Shiba_Tsukimi pees at it
<@Hida_Nari> I can't believe I forgot about horse stabbing, that used to be my favourite thing
<@Hida_Nari> I r queen of crabz
<Elanya> threesomes are complicated!
<Narrator> Steve is playing the recorder in the bathroom -_-
<Etir> Fuck yeah
<@BalthCat> That's why you people threw the tea overboard.
<@BalthCat> Sick of all the units
<Etir> "So, how do we measure this?" "Well, we.. uh... ok, this spoon.. then.. er.." "You have no idea do you." "We measure it by the harbor."
<@Elanya> it is actually harder for me to get off with a woman on top
<@Legend> I love voice recognition
<@Legend> "I'm really impressed" becomes "I'm rolling in Proust"
<@Ilphere> let me tell you
<@Ilphere> when I heard about the rape fields of England I was a little concerned
<Nary> ~living underground/eating from a can/you've been running away/from what you don't understand/BEANS.
<@Hettienne> Ian is like 'Maze is meowing a lot... does he miss Heather?
<@Hettienne> I'm like no, he misses food
<wererogue> Howell this morning, running around yelling "BOK BOK BUKAKKE" O_O
<wererogue> That is not what a chicken says Howell :3
<Mockery_> ...God, my hands smell like cookie dough and I can't get off.