Hayley & Irene, 7/6/2002

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Session Start: Sat Dec 02 15:44:30 2000

  • Logging #faeriegrrrls to '#faeriegrrrls.log'

<Irene> Alena? <Hayley> ooc can't remember either! One was an Eshu, the other a Boggan I think? Sounds good. Alena it is. <Irene> ooc good enough for me :)

  • Hayley decides that it would be rude to Flicker Flash right into someone's room. She instead goes to a shadowy corner of the gardens, then walks up to below Irene's room's window.
  • Hayley grabs a couple pebbles and tosses them lightly at Irene's window. Yeah it's cliche but it works.
  • Hayley waits for Irene to come to the window.

<Hayley> . o O (Hope that crab of an Eshu isn't around.)

  • Irene looks over because someone is throwing rocks in her window, which is open ;)

<Hayley> ooc: ok, so I hit the walls. >:^(  ;^) <Hayley> ooc and they're just wee pebbles, not huge horkin' rocks.

  • Irene looks around the room and sees no one around, and goes over to the window, thinking about her tapestry

<Irene> (ooc yeah, yeah ;)

  • Irene casts her eyes around the grounds timidly
  • Hayley waves up at Irene. She looks very different from last time Irene saw her- her hair is all cropped short and she's wearing tight black clothes. She looks a bit ragged around the edges.

<Irene> (it's been so long since I've played Rene...) <Hayley> Hi there, Irene. What's going down? <Irene> Hayley?

  • Hayley smiles a crooked smile.

<Hayley> The one and only.

  • Hayley twirls around.
  • Irene gives a nervous half smile, and looks over her shoulder.

<Irene> ... just a minute...

  • Irene disappears from the window
  • Hayley takes the hint and ducks into a nearby ornamental shrub.

<Hayley> . o O (Enter the crab.)

  • Hayley frowns at the leaves in her face.
  • Irene grabs her flute and her cloak and heads downstairs
  • Hayley waits, peering at Irene's window.
  • Irene emerges from a side door nearby after a few minutes
  • Irene looks around for Hayley, who is hiding in a bush
  • Irene sees her after a moment and goes over to the bush
  • Hayley hears Irene and emerges from the bush.

<Hayley> Hi, Rene.

  • Hayley smiles at the Sidhe.

<Irene> Hayley! <Irene> You're *here*! <Hayley> Haven't seen you in a while.

  • Irene looks excited
  • Irene nods

<Irene> did you find them?

  • Hayley looks startled a moment.

<Hayley> Who? <Irene> your family?

  • Hayley casts her eyse downward and her face hardens.
  • Hayley shakes her head 'no'.

<Hayley> There's too many down there. <Hayley> And then other things happened. <Irene> ..oh

  • Hayley seems older.

<Hayley> Come on, let's go for a walk. <Irene> ..okay <Irene> we can go through the gardens, I guess... <Irene> are you cold?

  • Hayley shakes her head.

<Hayley> I'm used to the climate here now. <Irene> (This is the orkneys, after all ;) <Hayley> Been sleeping outside lately. <Irene> (It's more northerly and also a windy island ;) <Hayley> The cold doesn't bother me as much. Well, after the sun's gone, I might be a bit cold.

  • Irene nods

<Hayley> But maybe I'll head south by then. <Hayley> I dunno. <Irene> ... <Irene> where are you staying? <Hayley> I've found a place. It's by the sea. <Hayley> I like the waves a lot; they soothe me to sleep. <Hayley> I've got to go talk to some people and get a job, though. <Irene> oh <Irene> so you're really not with the Countess anymore, then? <Hayley> I'll probably do that tomorrow. <Irene> a job?

  • Hayley rolls her eyes.

<Hayley> No way, I ditched her. <Irene> ..oh

  • Hayley nods yes to the job question.

<Hayley> I need some bartering goods to get clothes and food and stuff. You know. A bed eventually. <Hayley> It's kind of fun, relying on myself. <Hayley> What have you been doing?

  • Hayley does not seem to want to talk about herself very much.

<Irene> I almost finished my tapesty <Hayley> Cool. <Irene> but I didn't like it, so I started again <Hayley> Gwen does tapestry too. <Irene> just some part <Irene> I'm almost finished again <Hayley> What is it now? <Irene> it's still the same scene, kind of... <Hayley> But? <Irene> Alena likes it, but Tabitha, doesn't understand <Irene> My Father, he doesn't really care <Irene> as long as I'm being a lady <Irene> and I'm not in his way. <Hayley> You should ditch him and come live with me. <Irene> They'd come and find me. <Hayley> I could give you this. <Hayley> No one really looks for me anymore.

  • Hayley pats the necklace Janus gave her.
  • Hayley grins close-mouthed in grim satisfaction.
  • Irene nods

<Irene> I think they still would, even if I had it... <Irene> Maybe not my father <Hayley> They couldn't. <Irene> I think he wishes he'd never taken me, now <Irene> they'd try... <Hayley> You have to get away, make a life for yourself, like I did. <Irene> maybe more conventionally <Irene> they'd just look <Hayley> How would he find us? <Hayley> They wouldn't know where to start. <Hayley> We could be anywhere, anywhere in the world or the Dreaming. <Irene> I guess they have lots of people, contacts... I don't know <Hayley> No one lives around my place. <Irene> I just don't think I could <Hayley> Suit yourself. <Irene> I guess I'm supposed to be important, for something

  • Hayley shrugs.

<Irene> but noone will tell me what <Hayley> Maybe they're going to sacrifice you. Wanna stick around to find out?

  • Irene hangs her head

<Irene> I don't think so <Irene> they just want to see me married <Irene> I think <Hayley> Oh, some dreary political thing, huh?

  • Irene nods

<Hayley> Have you ever met any men you like? <Irene> not really <Hayley> Well, too bad. Well, I haven't either. <Irene> I don't think I've ever met him, you know... <Irene> but Alene says it might be easier like that <Hayley> But if there was, I'd tell you to forget about the marriage and run off with someone you like. <Irene> Tabitha says that a real woman should never be afraid of any man <Irene> I just don't get to meet any, Hayley <Irene> That's probably why <Hayley> Remember the time we were in Moscow? <Hayley> There were lots of guys looking at you then.

  • Irene nods

<Irene> they were looking at you, too, you know <Hayley> You should come with me sometime. We'll find a place to dance, and meet men. We'll set you up with someone you love...

  • Hayley says it a bit enviously, knowing she can never love anyone but Irene is still quite capable of it.

<Irene> I don't think it would be very safe for *them*... <Irene> not really <Irene> if I found someone <Hayley> Well, someone you love for a night then. <Hayley> Then who cares what happens to them?

  • Irene looks at Hayley kind of shocked

<Irene> what?

  • Hayley tosses her head back defiantly.

<Hayley> You have to grab happiness where you can, Irene. I've learned that.

  • Irene shakes her head

<Irene> I don't think I could do that, Hayley.... <Irene> and anyway

  • Irene blushes

<Hayley> I haven't met a guy I want to sleep with yet, but I probably will someday. <Irene> I don't think they would want me. <Irene> Not now... <Hayley> Why? <Hayley> You're beautiful. <Hayley> And you are sweet.

  • Irene shakes her head

<Irene> it's not true... <Hayley> Any man would die to hold you in his arms. <Irene> I'm *not* beautiful <Irene> Not like Morag,, or like Desiree... <Hayley> Who are they? <Hayley> Some stupid ladies you've seen at your father's court? <Hayley> All primped up with makeup and magic? <Hayley> Fuck them. It's all fake.

  • Irene shakes her head

<Irene> it's not like that <Irene> they were.. people <Irene> in the past <Irene> I remember them <Irene> They were best friends

  • Hayley looks at Irene out of the corner of her eye.

<Hayley> Mmmmmmmm....? <Hayley> Were they nice to everyone, or just each other? <Irene> and Desiree was a beautiful sidhe, and Morag was, like her sister. She was a boggan <Irene> That was me, then, I think <Irene> I don't know <Irene> MOrag was nice to everyone <Irene> she really was <Irene> and she stayed behind <Hayley> How could you have been a Boggan? <Hayley> It goes the other way around. <Irene> because of Desiree <Irene> I don't know, Hayley. <Hayley> Stayed behind? <Hayley> What do you mean. <Irene> That's just how I remember it... <Irene> When the Sidhe left <Irene> she could have went, but she didn't <Hayley> Same with Marjolaine. <Hayley> She stayed, and Zane burned her to death. <Hayley> And burned Sernan too. <Irene> Morag just faded away <Hayley> Because he hated her, in the end. <Hayley> They all hate. All of them. <Irene> because she had to take care of Desiree's baby <Irene> because she was beautiful inside <Hayley> That's why you should just take what you can from them, and then leave them behind.

  • Irene looks at Hayley with concern

<Irene> are you...alright?

  • Hayley looks like she's had a bit of a revelation.

<Hayley> Yeah, take what you can. <Hayley> I'm fine.

  • Hayley smiles forcibly.

<Irene> ...oh...

  • Irene sounds hesitant

<Irene> that's what tabitha says

  • Irene looks at the paths

<Hayley> So maybe she's a bitch, but I guess she knows a few things. <Irene> All she ever does is take. She says nobody else is happy, but if you are, who cares about them? <Irene> I don't think I could be like that. <Irene> She says I shouldn't be so weak, that I don't have to be. <Hayley> I don't think you're weak. <Hayley> You're just sweet. Too sweet for your own good. <Hayley> Sometimes. <Irene> She says it's disgusting... <Irene> I don't know <Hayley> You don't have to listen to her. <Irene> ...maybe <Hayley> You don't. <Hayley> You don't have to listen to anyone. <Hayley> Look at me. <Irene> what else can I do? <Irene> I don't know anything. <Irene> I can't do anything, really....

  • Hayley grabs Irene, not ungently, by the shoulders and turns her so she can look in her face.

<Hayley> You can do any thing you set your mind to, Irene. <Irene> I...

  • Hayley looks suddenly fierce.

<Hayley> You can!

  • Irene shrinks away a bit

<Hayley> Look at me, I left the Countess. <Hayley> ooc not fierce in a mean way, but in an inspired way. <Irene> ooc I know ;) <Irene> But I'm not like you Hayley! <Hayley> I was scared to death of it, but I did. <Irene> I don't know what I want.... <Hayley> Come over here.

  • Hayley leads Irene to a couple good moss-covered rocks to sit on.
  • Irene sits down
  • Hayley sits on one.

<Hayley> Empty your mind of all the things you've been told since you became a Changeling.

  • Hayley looks intensely at Irene.

<Hayley> Have you done that? <Irene> what do you mean? <Hayley> Just forget everything they told you for a moment. <Hayley> You were just a human girl once, weren't you?

  • Irene nods

<Hayley> Ok. <Hayley> What did you want to do, when you were a human girl. <Hayley> What were your dreams? <Irene> I don't remember... <Hayley> Try, try to remember. <Hayley> You can. <Hayley> It's there somewhere. <Hayley> Buried deep beneath all that junk they've put in your head. <Hayley> I wanted to be a shepherd. Last year, the year I changed, was the first year I was old enough to go herd on my own. <Hayley> Now I'm going to be a shepherd again. <Irene> I... <Irene> I don't think I thought about the future <Hayley> You must have. <Hayley> You had a good family, didn't you? <Hayley> Your sister? <Hayley> You miss them, don't you?

  • Irene nods

<Irene> but <Irene> it's dangerous for me <Irene> I can't go see them <Irene> because of the church <Irene> ... <Irene> that's what my father tells me <Hayley> Where do they live, Irene? <Hayley> Don't call him your father. Has he ever done anything for you that he deserves to be called father? <Hayley> He feeds you, gives you clothes. <Irene> ... he takes care of me. <Hayley> But you yourself said you are important. Believe me, he is only doing it to help himself.

  • Irene hangs her head

<Irene> I think he's afraid, now <Hayley> Everyone only does things to help themselves. <Hayley> Why? <Irene> I don't know! <Irene> because... <Irene> because he's afraid of the man I'm supposed to marry <Irene> I think <Hayley> There, you do know.

  • Hayley smiles warmly.

<Hayley> You probably know a lot more than you think. <Irene> but ... that's not really right, though <Irene> people don't tell me anything <Irene> except Alena <Irene> and she doesn't really know either <Hayley> What do you know? <Hayley> What has Alena told you? <Hayley> Maybe a different point of view can help you figure things out. <Irene> she's not supposed to tell me things <Irene> I don't want to get her in trouble <Hayley> Ok, but she does, <Irene> ... <Hayley> I'm not going to tell anyone. <Irene> I know <Irene> My father made a deal <Irene> when he found me

  • Hayley nods.

<Irene> with my house <Irene> because he thought they would give him power <Irene> and they needed something from him... land, or a holding, I'm not sure <Irene> the freehold, anyway <Irene> because I'm his daughter <Irene> I guess he thought he would keep power over me <Irene> and whatever they gave him <Irene> and now there is this lord that is supposed to marry me <Irene> and my fath- I mean, the baron is afraid that he'll be killed, or something <Hayley> ok <Irene> but he... <Irene> I don't know <Hayley> Sure you know. <Irene> I think hates me, now <Irene> but he's afraid <Hayley> Afraid of what? <Irene> of my house <Hayley> Oh. Are you House Eiluned? Or Ailil? <Hayley> They're both schemers. <Hayley> Stupid plots going on all the time.

  • Irene shakes her head

<Irene> Balor

  • Irene says it very quietly

<Irene> but almost nobody here <Irene> no one who isn't involved know <Irene> the countess doesn't

  • Irene looks at Hayley, who is being very quiet, kind of nervously

<Hayley> Balor... <Irene> YOu can't tell anyone...

  • Irene looks a bit upset
  • Hayley tries to remember what it is about House Balor.

<Hayley> I won't. <Hayley> Trust me.

  • Hayley looks puzzled.

<Irene> ...okay <Irene> ...what? <Hayley> Balor... <Hayley> Trying to remember. <Irene> oh

  • Hayley frowns.

<Irene> what do you want to know? <Hayley> I can't remember that house. <Hayley> But no one remembers mine, either. <Irene> oh <Hayley> So it's not a big deal. <Hayley> Is Balor very big?

  • Hayley asks wistfully?

<Irene> (wouldn't Debbie know who they were? at least in terms of the Dreaming war? ;) <Irene> ...yes and no <Irene> they don't have very many holdings <Hayley> ooc the mist, the MIST! Ahhhhhhh... Aneirin was evil, but what House was he? <Irene> but they have lots of allies <Irene> and land <Irene> and other things <Irene> ooc oh, right, SC is covered by the mist ;) <Irene> (ooc well, I duno, It shouldn't be anymore ;) <Irene> (OOC I thought *everyone* knew about the dreaming war these days?) <Hayley> ooc sure it should. People know about House Ailil because they had a king. Yes, everyone should know about the Dreaming War but very few can remember what House the evil Aneirin belonged to- wasn't he a Gwydion gone bad? <Irene> (I suppose) <Irene> (Of course, all the PC's remember ;p) <Hayley> ooc do you /want/ everyone to know about Balor? They'd just napalm any Balorians they came across, probably with the Danaans' blessing. <Irene> (true ;) <Irene> They were the ones <Irene> In the war <Irene> but noone remember that, either <Hayley> Which war? <Irene> the dreaming war <Hayley> Oh, the most recent. The one I couldn't be in.

  • Irene nods

<Irene> It's very confusing

  • Hayley turns to look at Irene.

<Hayley> Smith... do you know...? <Irene> I remember these things I did then... and now... <Irene> I don't know

  • Hayley has a rather horrified expression on her face.
  • Hayley clams up.

<Hayley> Nothing.

  • Irene looks afraid and upset
  • Irene hangs her head

<Irene> I know... <Hayley> Nothing, Irene. If I told you you might hate me, so I'd rather not. <Hayley> OK? <Irene> I know who Smith was, in the war <Irene> I knew him <Irene> .... <Irene> but no one knows about me... <Irene> no one believes me <Irene> because im <Irene> all backwards

  • Irene is sniffling

<Irene> and I can't tell anyone! <Irene> (I really think the irene ana thing is incredibly ironic of you think about Rhea's role in the war, bringing in Aneirin as a dragon and all ;) <Hayley> ooc teehee, you're very right! <Irene> ( ;)

  • Hayley looks a bit wild-eyed.

<Hayley> You can tell me. <Irene> My lives are all backwards <Irene> ... <Irene> because I did something <Irene> in the first one

  • Irene is sniffling

<Hayley> I did something, too. Also in my first... <Irene> (more even) <Irene> and then in the war... <Irene> I remember what happened <Irene> and no one else does <Irene> because of the mists

  • Hayley leans forward and grips Irene's shoulders.

<Irene> and my house <Hayley> What happened. What happened in the war? <Irene> I was there <Irene> when I was Rhea... <Irene> and that's supposed to be a good thing, but for me, it isn't <Hayley> Rhea?

  • Hayley chokes out.

<Irene> I was a dragon, and I caught him <Irene> I made them lose!

  • Irene is crying

<Irene> I dn't know what they would do, if they found out

  • Hayley looks totally wild-eyed now.

<Hayley> I'm Debbie. I was. I mean. <Hayley> Smith killed a lot of them, too. <Hayley> I wasn't even there, and Smith died...

  • Irene nods

<Irene> but I'm one of *them* now... <Hayley> And there was only Janus for him, at the end. Janus who hated him. They always hate, always...

  • Hayley jerks herself back to Irene's plight.

<Hayley> Irene, don't worry about it. <Hayley> Don't tell them. <Hayley> And don't worry. Who cares what you did before? There's only now. <Irene> but I'm afraid of them now, too... <Hayley> They can't do anything to you. You didn't know what you were when you did it. They can't blame you for not knowing. No one ever told you, because you were just a Pooka. <Hayley> You don't have a house when you are common. <Hayley> And didn't you say they don't believe you when you say you're all backwards? <Irene> I *know* that <Hayley> If they don't believe you, then they won't believe you did that. <Hayley> Right? <Hayley> And if you're still afraid, you should come with me. <Irene> I don't think they like me anyway though <Irene> because I'm so weak... <Hayley> They won't find you, with this. I don't need it anymore.

  • Irene is still crying a bit

<Hayley> If they don't like you, then they won't miss you. <Hayley> Come on. <Irene> but they need me... <Hayley> You don't owe them anything. You don't owe anything to anyone who never did anything good for you. <Hayley> They don't need you. They just have you brainwashed into thinking they do. <Hayley> If they don't care about you, they don't really need you. Not how it matters. <Irene> ... <Hayley> Believe me! I KNOW it. <Hayley> The only person you owe anything to is yourself. <Irene> even if I do go.... <Irene> I know they'll find me again <Irene> and they'll just punish Alena <Irene> and Tabitha <Hayley> You don't know that. Not until you've tried. <Irene> because they are supposed to watch me <Hayley> Come on, you have to get away. They are suffocating you here. Just like I was being suffocated at Diamond's. <Irene> I can't! <Hayley> You can! <Hayley> Look at me? Do you remember Debbie? Do you remember her? She couldn't say anything to Janus. You always had to come in and help smooth things over.

  • Irene looks pale and afraid

<Hayley> She never had the guts to say anything cruel to him, anything he deserved. <Irene> I'm not her.. <Hayley> But look at ME- I told him to screw off. <Irene> she was better then me... <Hayley> You were her. <Hayley> She's still there. <Irene> I can't be like that <Hayley> Yes you can! You have a heart just as big as hers. <Hayley> That's all you need. <Irene> But there's nothing in it, Hayley... <Irene> I'm so *hollow*

  • Hayley reaches out and cradles Irene's chin in her grimy hand.

<Irene> I can have anything real... <Hayley> No, you are not. <Hayley> I saw the look in your eyes when you spoke of your sister. You said I was like her, and it made my heart explode. <Hayley> I never had a sister. <Hayley> Until you said I was like yours. <Irene> ooc damnit it's been so long, I barely remember that o_O)

  • Hayley looks sincere.

<Hayley> ooc I have a long memory. <Irene> ooc I don't ;)

  • Irene nods
  • Hayley looks pleadingly into Irene's eyes.

<Hayley> I don't have my brothers anymore. I don't have Janus. I don't have Tally, or Aidan, or Rachel. I only have you.

  • Hayley 's hands drop back to her sides, and her shoulders stoop.

<Irene> ... <Irene> ooc sorry, unnanounced bathroom break :o <Hayley> You're Rhea, and I'm Debbie, and we found each other after a hundred years. It has to mean something. <Hayley> Doesn't it? <Irene> ... <Irene> I don't know

  • Irene sniffs

<Irene> yes <Irene> But I don't know what

  • Irene shakes her head

<Irene> I'm nothing like her... <Irene> She was so strong... she never wanted anything

  • Hayley looks like she's about to cry, tough girl attitude totally evaporated.

<Hayley> I guess I can't convince you, then. <Irene> and she had everything... <Hayley> You can have everything too, if you want. <Irene> I cant just go Hayley <Hayley> Yes, you can! I did!

  • Irene isn't crying now and wipes her face
  • Hayley is trying very hard not to cry. It wouldn't go very well with her newly-adopted 'tough girl' attitude.

<Irene> Maybe there isn't anything for me here, but there isn't anything anywhere else, either <Hayley> There is. There has to be. You just have to find it. <Irene> even if I can run away from my house, and my father <Irene> I can't run away from the church <Hayley> I have. <Hayley> They don't even know you exist yet. They won't find you. <Irene> they do know

  • Irene nods

<Hayley> How? <Hayley> How do they know? <Irene> because of how I was found <Irene> by Crawford <Irene> they have to know <Hayley> Who is Crawford? <Irene> my 'father' <Irene> the Baron

  • Hayley rubs away the impending tears and her face resets in a hard, impassive expression.

<Hayley> What, did he tell them about you? <Irene> ... <Irene> I don't know <Irene> but even if they dont know now... <Irene> I *look* like a demon, Hayley. <Irene> I really do

  • Hayley laughs a hard, metallic laugh.

<Hayley> You think /I/ don't? <Irene> I couldn't hide that forever <Hayley> Look at these- had you ever noticed them?

  • Hayley fingers her horns.

<Hayley> Look at my legs! <Hayley> I am Lucifer himself. <Irene> but they're not *real* <Hayley> Let me see you.

  • Hayley sounds like she doesn't believe Irene, and gazes at her in the real world.
  • Irene looks mostly like a normal girl from the front....
  • Irene shakes her head

<Irene> no...

  • Irene takes off her cloak and turns around

<Hayley> ooc her scales are visible in mortal guise? slipped seeming? <Irene> ooc sec

  • Irene reaches around and undoes some of the top clasps of her high necked dress and pulls it down over one of her shoulders

<Hayley> ooc oooooh, this is a SATYR behind you.... ;^D <Irene> ooc *snick*

  • Irene 's shoulder is covered with rome sort of dark red birthmark or burn or something that seems to spill down further than Hayley can see. It looks vaguely like scales and very unnatural...
  • Hayley walks up and lightly touches Rene's shoulder, curious.

<Hayley> ooc what does it feel like?

  • Irene shrinks back from the touch

<Irene> (it feels like a callous) <Hayley> Oh, Rene.

  • Hayley drops her hand back down to her side.
  • Irene qickly does the clasps back up

<Irene> (you gonna look in the faerie world too? ;) <Hayley> ooc can't now- she did it the clasps up.  ;^)

  • Hayley slips back into Faerie Sight.
  • Irene will still be doing them back up, then, for plot contrivance's sake ;)

<Hayley> ooc your typo. It sounds like a cool name for a Faery land, actually. Afrie. <Irene> ooc heh, I didn't even notice <Hayley> ooc they're pretty and green, albeit rough, in Faerie, aren't they? <Irene> ooc they are acutally scales, kind of black with a green irridescence about them <Hayley> They're pretty, Rene. Like emeralds... <Hayley> And lots of people have birthmarks like that.

  • Irene shakes her head

<Irene> not like that...., <Hayley> The Church doesn't hunt them down for that... <Hayley> Well, maybe not rough...

  • Hayley is nothing if not honest.

<Hayley> But there's plain old skin diseases that do that, too. Eczema... <Hayley> One of the priests at school had it. His skin was all rough and red and scaly. <Hayley> Honest. <Hayley> . o (Maybe not so extensive as hers, though...) <Irene> It's not the same <Irene> and it was there. <Irene> not before.... <Hayley> Well, we can go to a place where nobody knows you. <Hayley> and then I could find your family, and bring them to visit you.

  • Hayley is lapsing back into wishful silly young girl state. No sign of tough-Hayley left.

<Irene> .... I don't know if they'd want to see me <Hayley> Sure they would, I know my family would, if the church didn't have them. <Hayley> I'd only make more trouble for them if I tried to break them free.

  • Irene nods

<Irene> I like to think they would <Irene> But I don't know <Hayley> They would. If your sister loved you as much as you loved her, I know they would.

  • Irene nods

<Irene> I know she would <Irene> But maybe not my brother <Irene> or my dad <Irene> I don't know <Hayley> Why not? <Irene> they were very religious

  • Hayley lies down on the moss and props one long, skinny deer-leg over the other, and regards Irene.

<Hayley> So was my family. <Hayley> Love doesn't change if you've done something someone else might see as bad. And if it does change, then it's for the better. <Hayley> If it's real love. <Hayley> . o O (And if I still believed that, I don't know where I'd be. But Rene needs something like this to cling to... she is still so young compared to me.) <Irene> ...maybe <Irene> ooc I was just thinking that ;) <Irene> ...do you really believe that?

  • Irene looks at Hayley and then looks away
  • Hayley pauses...

<Irene> I don't think you do <Irene> Maybe you did before <Irene> ...NO, I don't think you do <Hayley> I believe it is true for my family. <Irene> I don't know if it is for mine

  • Hayley shrugs.

<Hayley> I don't know your family situation, since you haven't told me. <Hayley> So I can't really say anything else. <Irene> ... <Hayley> . o O (I also don't dare saying anything else. I want Rene to trust me. Me, talking about love? I am the last person who can expound on that now.) <Irene> I try not to think about them...Alena says it's for the best... <Hayley> FUCK Alena! <Hayley> FUCK Tabitha!

  • Irene shrinks away

<Hayley> FUCK your father! <Hayley> They don't have any power over you, really. In the end, it's only you that has the power to change your destiny. <Hayley> Anastasius isn't damn good for much, but I have learned that from him! <Hayley> I wish I were as persuasive as he is. <Hayley> Damnit, why can't I set you free? <Irene> ... <Irene> who?

  • Hayley 's eyes fill with tears now.

<Irene> Hayley? <Hayley> A Sidhe I met. He helped me get free, but I can't do the same for you. <Irene> ... <Irene> but..

  • Hayley rolls up into a sitting position and covers her face with her hands.

<Irene> Hayley?

  • Irene reaches out and puts her hand, lightly on her friend's shoulder
  • Hayley shakes it off.

<Hayley> What good is anything? <Hayley> What good is it, being a friend, or a sister, if you can't help them?

  • Irene shrinks away

<Irene> I... <Hayley> I can't love a man like I have ever again, but I hoped at least that I could love other people...

  • Hayley is sobbing.

<Irene> Hayley? <Irene> maybe... <Hayley> I just... want... to love. <Hayley> And someone... to love me. <Hayley> Maybe what? <Irene> Hayley? Look at me... please?

  • Hayley reluctantly looks at Irene, not meeting her eyes though.

<Irene> I *can't* be like you, Hayley. I'm not as strong as you are. But just because you can't change me doesn't mean that you don't, um, love me, Because you want to <Irene> and that's important <Irene> because no one else does, really <Irene> I just don't think I can be what you want me to <Irene> but that isn't your... fault <Hayley> It is... it is my fault. <Irene> no <Hayley> I can't do anything good for anyone anymore. <Hayley> Because I can't remember anything good. <Hayley> They all hated so much... and I just wanted them to be happy. <Irene> just because... because I won't let you save me from this doesn't mean you can't be my friend <Irene> I need you Hayley, to be strong, because I'm not <Hayley> Well... let me be strong for you by coming with me. <Hayley> I can't stay here... Tabitha will tell your father and he won't allow me to stay, not if it looks like I'm turning you to sedition. <Hayley> And I have to work, so I can eat... and my cottage is so nice... <Hayley> It's all run down, but I can fix it, with the money I make tending the sheep. <Hayley> And then we can be sisters, sisters by the sea.

  • Irene smiles

<Irene> It does sounds nice Hayley <Irene> But I can't stay with you <Irene> but I can come, for a while, sometimes, if you come for me...

  • Hayley shakes her head.

<Irene> ... <Hayley> Will they let you leave? <Irene> Alena will help me <Hayley> I don't think they will, if you are treated the way you say... <Irene> I can go for a little while <Hayley> And if you /can/ leave, why don't you just leave for good? <Irene> ... <Hayley> It would be easy... you'd just not come back. <Hayley> Why is that so hard? <Irene> They'd come <Irene> maybe it would be easier than you think... <Irene> Hayley, the Sidhe... Anastasius. That's his name <Irene> The one I'm supposed to marry <Irene> I know he's a very powerful sorceror

  • Hayley 's face blanches, of course, at first mention of his name, and how he's going to be her husband.
  • Hayley looks away quickly.

<Irene> I don't think I've met him... but he writes me letters, sometimes... <Irene> (hee hee! had to bring him up, didn't you? ;) <Hayley> ooc yeah, of course. In a flare of anger, as usual. Her short temper's a big weakness, She blurts out things it would be best to leave unsaid. <Irene> I still don't know anything about him, really... But I don't think he would stop looking. <Hayley> What does he say, in the letters. Can you tell me?

  • Hayley has turned back to 'Rene, face composed.

<Irene> He says that he loves me, but how can he know that if he's never met me? <Hayley> . o O (That bastard! He can't have /my/ Irene!) <Irene> Tabitha says he's just another weak man <Irene> (LOL) <Irene> I don't know <Irene> he has some sort of plan... <Hayley> . o O (He'll eat her alive. And he'll be cruel, and never say she's pretty.) <Irene> (snick silly Hayley) <Hayley> . o O (Of course he has a plan. He doesn't really love her. He can't. Anastasius could never love anything except himself, and his power.) <Irene> He's very intelligent, at least...

  • Hayley nods.

<Hayley> And ambitious. He will be a good provider. <Irene> he has all these people that he takes care of, these town, all over... <Irene> but that's not what my house is like, is it? <Hayley> . o O (I have to be strong for her. I'll tell her what I can, without lying to her or frightening her.) <Irene> My father is very afraid of him <Hayley> Have you ever seen him? <Irene> He said that Crawford is a 'terrible example of his species' <Irene> no <Hayley> He is tall, and pale. <Hayley> His skin and hair are white, but he is handsome all the same. <Irene> (the eyes! don't forget the eyes!) <Irene> really? <Irene> so you do think it is the same person? <Hayley> I don't know for sure. <Hayley> But I'll find out. <Irene> (I mean, really, how *could* you forget eyes like that? ;) <Hayley> He has beautiful hands, like Janus, and Beaumains. <Hayley> . o O (Better not mention the eyes. I like them, but Irene might be frightened of red) <Irene> (*snick*) <Hayley> Well, he's not old, either. He's a Wilder, like us. He just has white hair because he's an albino. <Hayley> . o O (There, she can figure out what colour his eyes are from that. It might not be so frightening, that way.) <Hayley> . o O (I will kill him if he ever does anything to hurt her.)

  • Irene nods

<Hayley> Oh! <Hayley> . o O (His one saving grace.) <Irene> hmm? <Hayley> If it is the same man, he is saving himself for his marriage.

  • Irene blushes

<Irene> really?

  • Hayley nods, not smiling though.

<Irene> ... it must be him.... <Irene> I think I might have met him, but I don't remember... it's like a dream... <Hayley> . o O (I want to go to him right now and tell him that if he ever harms her, I will kill him. But he would just laugh. I will do it, somehow, for her though, if I have to.) <Hayley> . o O (But maybe I had best say nothing. I won't even tell him I know who his bride is.) <Irene> I just have this image... a tall white man in black armour... <Irene> ...and the eyes.... <Hayley> . o O (I have exhausted all possible compliments that anyone could apply to Anastasius now...) <Irene> like wounds bleeding light <Hayley> They're pretty intense, huh?

  • Irene nods

<Hayley> I hope they don't glow in the dark very often or you might have trouble sleeping.

  • Hayley smiles to indicate she is teasing.

<Hayley> . o O (Change the subject. Change it now.)

  • Irene smiles and blushes a bit

<Irene> ...what is he like? <Irene> How do you know him? <Hayley> . o O (Damnit.) <Hayley> I... don't quite, um, remember. I was going through a pretty rough time after you left. <Irene> ...oh <Hayley> Everything opened up all at once, one day, and I couldn't sort out whose thoughts were whose, or which memories were which... <Hayley> I still haven't quite got it straight, but I'm much better now. <Hayley> Anyway, he... must have been near the Countess' one day. <Hayley> He was eating an apple! <Hayley> On a moss-covered rock. <Hayley> The apple was very red, and picked up on his eyes. <Hayley> We got to talking I guess. <Hayley> . o O (Well, at least she doesn't mind his eyes.) <Hayley> Anyway, he convinced me that there was no point in my staying at Diamond's. <Hayley> So I left. <Hayley> I went to Australia, and tried to find my family. But there were too many schools and work camps- I couldn't search them all. <Hayley> I made maps of some of them, I meant to make maps of them all to give to Queen Morwen, to help her fight the Church. <Hayley> But I only got three done; there were just too many... <Hayley> And then Janus found me. <Irene> oh <Irene> what did he do? <Hayley> I gave the maps to him before he left. And then I came back here...